You asked and you shall receive! So many of you reached out to me saying that you REALLY wanted to make it to the end-of-challenge party and workshop for the #devourlifechallenge but that you couldn’t make it live.
I totes get it. Making time to attend something live is hard when you have, you know, a LIFE.
So, as a gift, I’m giving you the recording fo’ FREE so that you can learn how to get out of food jail.
At this party, we celebrate the challenge winners, and I give you a free workshop teaching you:
– Why you overeat and emotionally eat
– Why it’s not your fault AND
– How to get to the bottom of it and fix it for good
In the video, I share a link so that you can set up a call with me if you’d like to chat one-on-one. To schedule a free call, just click here.
Wanna join the free 7-day Devour Life Challenge? Click here!
I finally had to admit that I had lost control around food.
I looked down at the crumbs left from the giant wedding cake I had just eaten all by myself, on my couch, in one sitting.Who DOES that?
I knew what I was supposed to be doing. But I just wasn’t doing it.
I mean sometimes I felt like I had things under control. I’d eat a normal breakfast (or skip it altogether to save calories and feel so proud), then a light lunch, and then a normal dinner. I’d think, “I’ve got this. I can do this.”
I’d find myself alone in the pantry devouring everything in sight.
But then an hour later I’d find myself alone in the pantry devouring everything in sight. Or ordering a large pizza for myself. Or diving straight into a gallon of ice cream with a spoon, without even putting it in a bowl.
And I’d feel like a loser. A fraud. Every other area of my life was going great. Why couldn’t I figure out the food issues?
I tried every diet I could think of thinking that if I just found the “right one”, I’d finally be able to stick to it. But I always failed.
How hard is it to just count points? Or calories? Why can’t I just get it together???
Then I’d berate myself and think, “How hard is it to just count points? Or calories? Why can’t I just get it together???” I even contemplated joining Overeaters Anonymous. It felt like an addiction. Because the common denominator of all the failed diets was… me.
Wanna join the free 7-day Devour Life Challenge? Click here!
There was something underneath the desire for food that I just couldn’t put my finger on, and I became DETERMINED to figure it out.
I studied with every professor, guru, doctor, nutritionist, dietician and coach I could find. What I learned changed everything. Instead of devouring my life, I was devouring food. Whoa.
Once I learned what it means to live full out and devour my life, my desire to overeat just… disappeared. Like magic. Because my food issues really never had anything to do with the food.
If you feel like food is controlling your life…
Like an alien takes over your body and makes you eat all the cookies/pizza/cheese…
Like you’re stuck and doomed to just live this way forever…
Then trust me, I feel you. I’ve been there.
What I finally realized is that my desire to overeat and emotionally eat was actually a gift. Yep, I said it. A GIFT.
I learned that instead of actually enjoying food, I was treating it like a drug. I had taken something meant to be pleasurable and turned into something dark and shameful.
I learned that a desire to overeat actually points to something under the surface that isn’t ok in my life. I was using the cake, the pizza, and the ice cream as medicine for something I couldn’t quite diagnose.
Once I dug down to the real issues, it became so clear that my overeating was never about the food.
All I had to do was identify and address the underlying issues, and the desire to overeat just melted away.
Food became fun again. Choosing foods became so easy. Knowing what to eat and when to eat was suddenly so… simple.
I no longer wanted to eat an entire cake. The desire was just… gone. The ice cream in my fridge stayed untouched for so long that it went bad. The pizza guy wondered why I never called anymore.
It’s not you, bro. It’s me. The new me.
Actually, it’s the true me. The me at my core who I’ve always been. I just lost her for a while and had to find her again. And guess what? Her life is so chock full of connection, fun, and adventure that it makes overeating food just seem kinda… boring. There’s no pull to do it anymore.
Doesn’t that sound amazing? Yeah. It is.
And I want you to know that your life can feel that way, too.
I realize it might seem daunting to follow my path. Who has the time to spend years studying human behavior and working with teachers, gurus, food psychologists, nutritionists, and coaches all over the world? Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat.
Each day’s challenge will be easy, fun, and take just a few minutes to complete. The goal will be to uncover the root cause that makes you want to overeat, so that you can heal it.
I’m not going to be telling you to eat carrot sticks and do sit-ups. It’s not that kind of challenge. It’s the kind of challenge that gets to the DEEPER ISSUES instead of using diets or exercise like ineffective band-aids.
I’m going to do it right along with you, and you can win some pretty amazing prizes. I’m giving away my favorite oils, malas, books, and a grand prize worth $4500.
So… are you in? Are you ready to finally get to the source of all the pain? Let me hold your hand and show you the way. Join the Devour Life Challenge now so you’ll get all the details on what to do!
Hugs and high-fives to me breaking you out of food jail,
“I want to change the way I eat but I just can’t seem to follow through.”
“I know what I ‘should’ be doing but I’m just not doing it.”
“When I think about everything I need to do to make it happen, I just feel overwhelmed.”
Trying to change something big in your life can feel so impossible. Especially when you’re trying to change food habits that you’ve had for years.
But you’ve seen people actually follow through, right? They set a goal, do the work, achieve it, and then celebrate! So it’s possible. But… how do you become one of those people?
The key to actually achieving a goal is to be gentler on yourself. I know that’s counter-intuitive. We think of achieving goals as PUSHING, WORKING, and SACRIFICING.
But then the pushing, working, and sacrificing become overwhelming and unsustainable and you find yourself on the couch with a tub of ice cream just saying, “Eh. This is impossible. Screw it all.
So the key is actually being gentler on yourself.
And how do you do that? By following these 3 simple steps.
1) Visualize and Believe
I had a client once who woke up anxious every morning because she hated the way she was eating. Every morning, like clockwork, she would wake up and already know that the day was going to be a giant failure.
If you wake up every morning thinking, “Ugh I hate my body and I always will.” or “Ugh. I hate work and am never going to get the promotion I want.” then that is exactly what is going to happen. You will hate your body forever. You won’t get the promotion. When you wake up in a negative mood, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Instead, I want you to wake up and take 3 minutes to visualize yourself already having achieved your goal. Seriously. Set a timer on your phone and do it.
If it’s changing your relationship with food, then I want you to wake up imagining yourself easily making the food choices you want to make and only eating until you’re full. Imagine yourself feeling full and genuinely not wanting any more food. Imagine yourself feeling light and strong and looking in the mirror and loving what you see. Imagine yourself pretty much losing the desire to overeat altogether. Imagine how amazing it will feel when it happens as though it has already happened.
Put out into the universe the outcomes that you WANT to happen. Not the ones you don’t want to happen. And do it every day.
2) Stop the Overwhelm
Feeling overwhelmed is the antithesis of reaching a goal. Overwhelm makes you feel like a deer in headlights. And it makes you believe that you’re incapable of success. It’s just too much.
Instead, squash overwhelm by getting real clarity and breaking down your goal into tiny bite-sized action items. Look at where you are. Look at where you want to be. Then, list every single tiny step it will take to get from Point A to Point B. Each action item should be so tiny that you can do it in less than 5 minutes. They should be so tiny that they’re almost laughable.
If you’re trying to change your relationship with food, your goal might be to understand why you can’t stop overeating. And your first tiny step might be to click here to join my 7-day Devour Life Challenge that starts next week so that I can help you figure that out. See? Step 1 is already done for you. Tiny, actionable steps.
When I see clients struggling to reach their goals, it’s almost always because they’re focusing on what they see as their failures, and completely ignoring their tiny wins.
When you take a small step toward your goal, celebrate!
Think about a baby learning to walk. You would never hear a parent say, “Well, my baby took her first two steps today but it doesn’t really matter because then she fell down like a total loser.”
But I hear clients talk like that about themselves all the time.
“I followed the steps you told me and then I only wanted 3 bites of my cheesecake and didn’t want the rest. That’s never happened before. But later I had planned to make a new recipe and I didn’t do it so I don’t really have anything good to report.”
Huh? What??? Only wanting 3 bites of a plate of cheesecake for the first time in your life is a HUGE WIN. That’s worth jumping up and down and doing a happy dance for!
The more you celebrate your wins, the more you continue to have more and… more wins. If you downplay them and focus on the negative, you’ll get more of the negative.
So celebrate your wins, whether they’re huge or miniscule. When you’re trying to change a lifelong habit, you’re like a baby taking her first steps, and you should treat yourself accordingly.
Follow these steps and watch how much closer you get to your dreams. They’re closer than you realize.
I reached out on my Instagram and Facebook stories to see what you guys wanted me to blog about next, and you overwhelmingly voted to learn more about how to make decisions using your intuition. Thanks so much to everyone who voted!
Like everyone, I have made some terrible decisions in my life. The kind that leaves you hurting and in anguish and wondering, “What was I THINKING???”
While there are beautiful lessons to be learned from every decision we make, I think we can all agree that, if given a choice, we’d prefer to NOT feel anguish.
When I look back on the decisions that have brought me the most pain, the common denominator between them is that I ignored my intuition.
There was a whisper inside telling me, “Please don’t. This isn’t right for you.”
There were red flags that my intuition was lovingly pointing out that I flat out chose to ignore.
There was that little gut feeling that something wasn’t right, even though I couldn’t put my finger on what it was.
Do you have a big decision that you’re trying to make? Have you been going back and forth and back and forth wondering what you should do? What the right answer is?
Good. Because today I’m going to help you use your intuition to make the RIGHT decision for you.
Think about a big decision that you need to make, and watch this quick 10-minute video. By the end of it, you’ll know what to do. For real.
Hugs and high-fives to listening to your most wise inner self,
P.S. Like this stuff? Want more? My FREE 7-day #devourlifechallenge starts again in September and it’s all about showing you how to use your body and intuition to get off the food crazy-train. The EASIEST way to stop overeating and emotionally eating is to just not want to anymore. Join us and I’ll show you how!
If you’ve followed me for a while, you may have noticed that I travel a lot.
Just in the month of June, I was in Ireland and also Mexico. I get so many questions about why and how I travel, that I decided to devote a blog post to it.
Growing up, my dad was in the military, and we moved A LOT. I grew up moving from city to city, and country to country,
every 1-2 years. Before age 18 I had lived throughout Texas, Maryland, Germany, Paraguay, and Spain.
I got really good at packing, really good at being the new kid at school, really good at living in the secret world inside my head, and really good at finding my way around a new place where I didn’t understand what anyone was saying or how the toilet flushers worked.
I flew by myself for the first time at age 5, and countless times before and after that. I subconsciously learned to tie the excitement of moving to a new country to the sound of a jet engine starting before a plane takes off. It still makes me giddy every. single. time.
If I got sad about leaving my friends, my mom would hype up the next move by saying,
“We’re going to a new place and you can totally decide who you want to be there. Who do you want to meet? What do you want to learn? You can create whatever kind of life for yourself that you want!”
And I loved it. I really loved it. Sure, it was hard leaving new friends sometimes, but I learned to expect and crave the next adventure.
My desire for highs, excitement, downtime, processing time, and adventures was completely fulfilled by travel. And, as you might expect, I carried that with me into adulthood.
This means that the idea of hopping on a last-minute plane for a solo trip to Iceland by myself with no plan and no one there I know doesn’t feel scary to me. It feels exhilarating. And I did just that in 2010. Also Ghana. Also India.
It’s my way of filling myself up and physically and mentally removing myself from the distractions of daily life. I get so much done on these trips. I work. I find creative inspiration. And I process feelings that would otherwise get buried under the day-to-day grind.
For example, I spent a lot of my time in Ireland last month grieving the loss of my dad. He passed away a few years ago, but grief doesn’t really care how many years it’s been. I like to give it space to breathe on my travels so that it doesn’t pop up as much at inconvenient times in everyday life.
One day while I was in Ireland, an old man who owned a pub and I started conversing about life, death, ancestors, and family. I could tell he knew my soul. He told me to go to a very specific place, a fort, because there were “some souls there”that “might want to talk” to me. So I went to this fort, climbed to the top, laid out a blanket, and listened to see if ghosts whispered to me.
They did. And it’s one of the most healing experiences I’ve ever had in my life.
People often ask me, “How do you afford to travel so much?”
I have several answers for this.
First, I was born in the US, a developed country where people are afforded certain privileges. My family was not wealthy, but we always had everything we truly needed. In comparison to people who don’t have clean drinking water, a middle class American family is ridiculously rich. So, I always like to first acknowledge a level of privilege that comes with the family and body and country and skin I was born into. So, there’s that.
Beyond that, I have worked REALLY hard to create a life for myself that allows me to travel. They say that if you want to know about a person’s priorities, look at their calendar and their bank account. I make time for travel, and I save money for travel.
Even when I was making $30k per year straight out of college, I found ways to save money for epic travel adventures.
I went without cable. I lived in a cheap apartment with no central air or heat and once caught my bathrobe on fire trying to get warm in the mornings by an old, rickety, open-flame gas heater. I shopped at thrift stores. I’d go out on the town with friends and only drink water.
I’ve still never owned a brand-new car. And have no desire to. BECAUSE THAT MONEY COULD BE USED FOR TRAVEL.
We make sacrifices for the things that we love most.
I’m also fine traveling on a budget. I don’t mind staying in spare bedrooms in strangers’ homes via airbnb. I don’t mind going to the grocery store to buy my food instead of eating out. And I don’t need expensive guided tours, ATV rides, or ziplines to have a great time.
The type of excursion I like most is a slow, deep conversation with the oldest person I can find in a tiny town, in a remote part of a foreign country. That doesn’t cost much. They’ll usually spend a whole afternoon with me for the cost of a cup of tea.
InThe Devour Life Academy, I have all of my students plan a “Pleasure Retreat” for themselves. It’s a little solo getaway that feeds their souls. At first, I usually hear, “There’s no way I can do that. It’s impossible because… I don’t have the money/ I have kids to take care of/ I can’t get time off of work/ etc.”
And every single time, with every single client, we find a way for them to have the perfect retreat.
I’ve had clients do everything from spending a solo weekend getting lost in Chicago, to flying to New Zealand for a dreamy hike, to borrowing a friend’s rustic little cabin in the woods for a weekend of silence and reading. We decide where they’re going to go and what they’re going to do based on what their soul is whispering.
Whatever that thing is that makes you feel all tingly inside, that thing should be your non-negotiable.
For me, it’s travel. For you, it could be something entirely different. But it’s part of your life’s purpose to identify and experience whatever that thing is for you. Fight for it.
What I hope you’ll take away from this is not, “Oh yay. Good for Breanne that she travels all the time”, but rather the truth that whatever thing is most important to you, you can ABSOLUTELY do.
Identify it. Then make your calendar and bank account reflect it.
This is your one precious life and there’s nothing more important than doing the thing that gives your soul all the tingles.
So, what is that for you? I’d love for you to comment below and tell me…
What soul-tingling experience or feeling are you craving?
What is one TINY step you could take to make you feel like it can really happen?
Hugs and high-fives to fighting for your joy,
P.S. This round of The Devour Life Academy is full and closed, but we have a waitlist right here.Sign up if the idea of working with me is one of the things tugging at you, and my team will let you know as soon as the next round launches. 🙂
Here in the northern hemisphere we are in full on summa Summa SUMMATIME! It’s hot, the cicadas are singing, and everyone is looking for a body of water to jump into.
When the seasons shift, our food cravings tend to shift as well. Listening to your food cravings is incredibly important because they’re always a message from your body about something you need.
Right now, I’m mostly craving cool, crisp salads, a ton of fruit, fish, and refreshing bubbly drinks like La Croix and prosecco.
Yesterday afternoon I got an intense craving for oats (weird, right?) so I whipped up a batch of my favorite summer overnight oats. They’re so delicious for breakfast or for a snack and they have that cool and creamy texture that is perfect for summer.
Because I’m a nutrition nerd, I know that my craving for oats was probably due to a deficiency in manganese, phosphorus, molybdenum, magnesium, copper, tyrosine, avenin, or one of the other many nutrients that are plentiful in oats.
Once I ate them, I immediately felt so satiated, full and happy.
Every craving you have is related so some sort of deficiency or need.
Sometimes it’s physical, like being deficient in a specific nutrient, and sometimes it’s psychological. But it’s always about a need. So cravings are really important messages from your body, and listening to them is crucial if you want to have a beautiful relationship with food.
Now I know you might be thinking, “All I’m craving is junk food and pizza. What does that mean?”
If you crave that every now and then, that’s a normal part of moderate, healthful eating.
But if you’re craving it every day, or craving more food than you need to feel full every day, then that’s emotional eating. And, to heal it, you’ve got to get to the root cause. There are underlying emotional and psychological issues that need to be addressed.
The goal is NOT to just use more willpower to force yourself to eat better. It doesn’t work, and leaves you feeling like a weak failure.
Instead, the goal is to no longer desire to overeat and emotionally eat. That way, it’s incredibly easy and fun to follow through on eating beautifully.
Instead of forcing yourself not to eat junk food… you just don’t want it.
Instead of forcing yourself to stop overeating… you just don’t want to.
Your body is so wise. It knows what to eat, when to eat, how to eat, and EXACTLY what you need to feel your absolute best.
Once you learn to tap into your own intuition when it comes to food choices, it’s just so… easy. It feels like a giant exhale.
This is what I teach in The Devour Life Academy, and registration closes on Friday. I’ve only got two spots left, so if you’re feeling a pull, now is the time to join.
Within 90 days, the women in the academy’s desire to overeat and emotionally eat will shrink down to almost nil.
They will easily and intuitively make nourishing food choices.
They will look at a chocolate cake or block of cheese and legitimately only desire a few bites.
They will never have to count calories or macros or points or portion sizes again.
They will see what their own, unique, ideal body feels like when food is no longer in control.
They will learn to intuitively eat using their body’s own cravings and inner wisdom.
If you want this summer to finally be the summer that you end the food struggle, I’ve got you. Comment below and tell me…
1. What your struggle with food has been like and
2. If food were no longer a struggle, how would that change your life?
Hugs and high fives to breaking you out of food jail,
P.S. The oats totally hit the spot for me and I hope you make them tonight! To do so, mix the following ingredients in a mason jar in this order:
½ c uncooked rolled oats
2T dried chia seeds (shake or stir a bit to mix the oats and chia seeds)
1 c almond milk
1-2 T peanut butter (to taste, the natural kind that’s runny at room temp is easiest)
1T greek yogurt
1T honey (more or less to taste)
1 whole banana, chopped
Stir a bit, add a lid, and shake it up. Add extra almond milk if the jar isn’t full and shake again. Put in the fridge overnight for a delicious breakfast or snack the next day. Enjoy!
I’m planning a trip to Ireland next month, and I’ve been in full on dreaming and planning mode this weekend. I’m so excited to roll down the windows in my little rental car as I listen to Irish jams (I always make country-specific travel playlists) and cruise down the left side of the motorway, surrounded by lush green hills.
I’m excited to see all the main attractions. The Titanic Museum in Belfast. The Giant’s Causeway. The Cliffs of Moher. The Ring of Kerry. Trinity College Library. I’ve got 2 weeks so I’m driving around the entire Island and literally seeing every main attraction there is to see. But if you know of some little local-only, tourist-free gems off the beaten path, please let me know!
I’m also excited to eat soda bread, Irish Stew, colcannon, boxty, champ and coddle because I’ve never had any of them! I love visiting places and eating local foods. It’s the epitome of devouring the experience. And you all know how I love to devour life. <wink>
I was thinking about all that glorious Irish food today as I read about a prominent Weight Watchers spokeswoman deciding to no longer follow or work with Weight Watchers.
She talked about how restricted she felt after initially losing weight. And that, to her, restriction not only meant counting points, but also demonizing certain foods and feeling like so many foods are off-limits. Eventually, at the height of her weight-watchers-weight-loss online popularity, she became so concerned with restricting her food that she stopped going out with friends, started violently bingeing, and just went through a very, very dark time.
Now that she’s started just eating normal healthy foods according to when her body is hungry, she’s so much happier. What a bummer it would be if I had to count points or calories or macros when I went to Ireland. What a bummer it would be if I had to do it in my day-to-day life. Ick. I used to live that way, and it felt like being in food jail.
I hear this from clients over and over again.
“I used to do Weight Watchers (or insert any other diet plan here) and lost a lot of weight but then gained it all back plus more.”
“I really need to get back on ______ diet plan, but I always fall off the wagon.”
“Why can’t I stick to anything I try??? I just hate dieting so much.”
Dieting just does. not. work. It’s not sustainable. It sets you up for failure. Study after study after study shows that diets have the worst possible failure rate. Even (especially?) when they’re masquerading as a “lifestyle change”, they just plain do not work for people long-term.
So, what DOES work?
What DOES work is learning to tap into your own body’s intuitive wisdom when deciding what to eat, when to eat, and how much to eat. What DOES work is getting to the root of why you’re emotionally eating and overeating, instead of just blaming yourself for having no self-control.
That path goes so much deeper than just trying to restrict your food intake. It gets to the core of who YOU are and what YOU need to be happy. It teaches you how to have a relationship with food that feels healthy, nourishing, joyful and FREE. It teaches you WHY you’re craving the extra food, and what’s missing in your life that’s causing the cravings.
This path is about learning to devour your whole life to feel the way you want to feel, instead of just devouring food.
So, how do you do it? I’m so glad you asked. Because I’ve created a 7-day Devour Life challenge to show you the first few steps.
It’s free, and I’d love to have you join us. It’s not hard, but it does require you to go a little deeper than you may have in the past when it comes to your eating. And it’s also going to be so freaking FUN!
I won’t be telling you to eat kale and do sit-ups. I’ll be guiding you to look at the deeper reasons underneath the food craziness. And I’ll be guiding you to focus on your own unique STRENGTHS and to have more FUN. I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!
It costs nothing! There are fun little prizes at the end that I will mail to the winners! I lovvvve mailing presents to people! And if you want to go WAY above and beyond, the grand prize at the end is a full scholarship into the next round of my Devour Life Academy, which is valued at $4500.
I know, right?
I’ll be doing the challenge right along with you and we are going to have SUCH a fun week together. I’m seriously giddy.
Click HERE to sign up and I’ll send you all the details!
Hugs and a giddy little Irish jig,
P.S. Forward this email to friends so they canJOINin, too! The more, the merrier!
Last weekend I attended a gorgeous wedding, and I LOVE weddings. The love. The joy. The dancing. THE CAKE.
When I hear that it’s time for the happy couple to cut the cake, I’m first in line y’all. Sometimes, if I’m feeling especially impatient and it’s taking too long, I’ll even gently remind the wedding planner that the cake needs to be cut. I’m that person.
So, on Saturday night, I reached for the piece with the most icing, sat down at my seat at the gorgeously-decorated table, clapped like a child, and took a few deep breaths to fully enjoy the cake smell. I silently thanked everyone involved in bringing me this delicious cake.
Thank you to the bride and groom for including me. Thank you to the bakers who spent hours sourcing the best ingredients and making it perfect. Thank you to the women who cut pieces and handed them out.
And then I tasted my first bite and it was GLORIOUS. I put my fork down and savored every orgasmic morsel of that first bite.
Then I took another and savored it just as slowly. And then another. And then one more.
And then, I was done.
I checked in with my body, and didn’t want anymore.
I legitimately didn’t want any more of my favorite dessert in the world.
So I left the rest on my plate and went out on to the dance floor to shake what my mama gave me.
That, my friends, is what it looks like to Devour Life. You learn how to eat whatever you want, whenever you want it, in a way that feels EASY. And like food freedom.
It’s so much easier to just not WANT to overeat than it is to try and use willpower to force yourself to stop.
I know that, for you, it might be cheese that lights up your whole world. Or wine. Or french fries. Or one of everything from your favorite drive-through menu. But for me, it’s always been cake. Specifically, wedding cake.
Back when I felt totally nuts around food, it was the humiliating decision to dig an entire wedding cake out of the trash so that I could binge on the whole thing, alone, on my couch, yet again… that finally led me to get help with my food craziness.
So these leaving-wedding-cake-on-the-plate moments used to feel like a pipe dream.
So, in these moments, when I realize I get to eat anything I want, whenever I want it, and feel free and amazing and satisfied, it feels like I’ve overcome one of the most difficult hurdles of my life.
Upper level organic chemistry was hard. Traveling across Western Africa alone was hard.
But nothing in my life was as hard as struggling with food to the extent that I did. And nothing was as gratifying as FINALLY FEELING FREE.
Nicky finally learned to Devour Life, too. Here’s her story…
So, tell me… Is it wedding cake for you, too? What’s the “naughty” food that lights up your heart with glee? Comment below so we can compare food craziness notes.
Hugs and buttercream frosting,
P.S.I’m launching my next round of The Devour Life Academy NOW! Want to finally end the food madness and have a life and body that you adore? Click here to see what all the hype is about!
I’ve lived alone for 10 years. I’ve traveled to places like India and Iceland and West Africa, alone. I take month-long cross country road trips from Austin to Vancouver, alone. I typically run errands alone. I can easily change a tire alone. I do my daily ritual and movement practice alone. I love taking myself out on dinner or movie dates, alone.
The aloneness feels good to me. It feels like home.
I, of course, have beloved friends who I love hanging out with, and beautiful relationships with incredible depth that keep me feeling supported and surrounded by love. I’m rarely lonely. But I also pride myself on being able to happily do most things in life on my own.
But there are a few things in my life that I tried and Tried and TRIED to do on my own and just completely face-planted.
Some things are pretty impossible to do alone.
For me, the biggest of those things was learning how to stop feeling like a crazy person around food. Even when other areas of my life were totally together and stellar, I continued overeating, emotionally eating, and binge eating without really understanding why. I just knew I craved the food and NEEDED the food. It felt mindless, and like something took over my body and just MADE me do it.
Figuring out how to fix this for myself felt impossible. I sort of just thought that feeling like a crazy person around food was my lot in life.
I eventually found a book called Intuitive Eating and I REALLY loved the idea of just eating… intuitively. Like a “normal” eater would.
I wanted to be a woman who felt free around food. Like the food thing was just easy for me.
I wanted out of the food jail of counting points and calories and macros and tracking things.
I wanted to feel like food choices came as easily to me as everything else in my life did.
I wanted to be able to look at a huge piece of cake or a giant bowl of cheese and not feel like I had to eat the whole thing to feel happy.
I wanted to be the woman who looked at it, had a few bites, enjoyed it, and then (for real) had zero desire to eat more.
And now, I have that. Food is easy (and sooo joyful) for me. I love my body and feel confident, sexy and like it’s the body I belong in. My own version of my ideal body.
But getting here would have been impossible alone. The knowledge of what I was “supposed” to do wasn’t enough to make me actually DO it. I tried and tried and failed and just kept feeling like a complete failure.
I needed someone to hold my hand, cheer me on, and pull me back to the truth when I didn’t believe that I could conquer this thing. So I sought out the best teachers and coaches I could find. Once I had the support I needed, it was a cakewalk (haha). I just needed someone to help me through it and show me how to make it EASY. So easy that I didn’t want to quit.
If you’re feeling like you’re finally ready to figure out the food stuff, I would love to hold your hand through the process and gently pull you over to the other side with me. It’s as great as it sounds.
If you feel like support is what you’re missing, I’m here.
Comment below and let me know what the hardest part of this is for you and what is making you want to pull your hair out. I’ll do the rest.
If you follow me on social media, you know that I just spent a week on Holbox Island off the coast of Mexico.
I had planned to work the entire time but the wifi there is slow, mostly unavailable and spotty at best. I was bummed at first because I actually love working and was looking forward to it. Also, my best friend was supposed to come a day later than me because of passport issues. And then it got pushed to the next day. And then the next. Until she told me she couldn’t come after all.
So I had planned to have a work-cation combined with nights of fun with my bestie, and I ended up alone, on a rustic, undeveloped island, with no friends and no plan. I started to feel a bit anxious, because I very much love a plan.
When I work with my clients to overcome overeating and emotional eating, one of the things I teach them is to feel into their bodies and ask what it needs. And so I trusted that connecting with my desires was going to make my unexpectedly solo trip turn into exactly what I needed at the time.
I closed my eyes, took slow, deep belly breaths, felt into my body and asked, “What do you need right now?” I heard…
“Fish, avocado, nuts and fatty meats”
So, I ventured out on my own to find the best beaches, the freshest fish, the sweetest fruits, and the brightest sunshine.
I let myself get completely lost biking on the unmarked sandy paths and tried to go with the flow, even when I ran out of water and saw no other humans or buildings for 3 solid hours. I sought out the best views in places I wasn’t supposed to go into and felt like a rebellious rule-breaker.
I swung in hammocks while crying over glorious fiction that I almost never make time to read in normal life. I let my toes drag back and forth in the sand for hours. (When was the last time my feet felt anything other than flooring or the insides of shoes???)
I drank the freshest fruit smoothies, with a splash or two of rum. I listened to gentle waves lapping from sunrise to sunset and would fight the sunset to get just one more page read before I lost light completely. Then I would venture out to get another plate of the best pasta I’ve had since I was in Italy. Then I would get dessert. It was absolute bliss.
When it came time to leave, I was sad. Why can’t all of life be like this? Could I just move here? No, I thought. I love my home and don’t want to leave it.I just want it to feel more like this.
As I was getting ready to head to the airport, I noticed that the belt I had worn on the way there needed to be cinched in another notch or two.
I wasn’t trying to lose weight, but it was interesting to see how my body responded to getting exactly what she asked for.
So, on the plane home, I decided to make a plan for how to make my life at home feel as calming and nourishing as it did on that little island.
In the mornings, I started swinging as the sun rises in a little hammock swing I had in my yard but have hardly ever used. I decided to walk out to it each day barefoot so that the soles of my feet feel the earth and cool grass. Even if it’s cold outside, my feet touch the ground for at least a couple of minutes. I added 10 minutes of fiction reading into my routine every day. I already meditate daily, so I doubled the length of time I usually spend doing it. I started making the same meals I had on the island.
I’ve also taken the “pretending I’m on an island” bit far enough to start saying “no” to more things that I don’t actually want to do and wouldn’t be able to do if I were on an island with limited wifi.
“I’m sorry but I can’t attend the networking event” …because I’m on an island
Since adding in these island-inspired self-care practices into my daily routine for almost two weeks now, I feel amazing. And if I could choose to be anywhere in the world in this moment, I’d choose to stay right here. On my deck, with the sun rising, playing fetch with my dog. I feel just as relaxed and happy as I did on the beach.
Have you ever wished you could make your life feel more like a vacation? If you can hop on a plane tomorrow and go, then of course do it! But if that’s not feasible right now, I’d love for you to comment below and tell me one creative way you can make your current life today feel more like your dream vacation.
Hugs and rummy smoothies,
P.S. I’m doing food story interviews again! If you struggle with overeating or emotional eating and can’t figure out how to fix it, I’d love to interview you! There’s no catch, and the feedback I’ve gotten is that it’s been super helpful and insightful for the women who have done it! Sign up here. <<<https://calendly.com/breanne/30min_research_call>>>