I was driving home from a friend’s party the other night (btw the cake was so good and you guys know how I feel about cake) and mindlessly listening to the radio when Time by NF came on, and I heard this line…
Got a lot of issues I’m tryna work through ’em
Going to therapy for you’s somethin’ that’s worth doing
And I was suddenly screaming, “YAS. THIS!” alone in my car, because I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I’ve ever heard a song normalize therapy.
Growing up, no one in my family went to therapy. And the idea of it was shunned as “airing your dirty laundry.” It was considered shameful, and so no one went.
Even if there was depression, unprocessed trauma, or severe anxiety, therapy was not something we did. The idea was that if you were strong, you should be able to get through it.
I’d watch family members put their health at serious risk because they could not stop eating in a way that was hurting them. Their doctors would clearly tell them what was and was not ok to eat, but nothing could stop them. It broke my heart.
And since that’s what I saw growing up, I struggled with it, too, until I found… therapy.
The ONLY reason I have a beautiful relationship with food now, one where I eat when I’m hungry and easily stop when I’m full and have pretty much zero desire to overeat, binge, or emotionally eat, is because I got help.
I worked with therapists, counselors, and coaches who taught me the skills I needed to eat the way I wanted to eat. I thought I had been born with a faulty food gene, but it turns out I just needed some support and guidance to get to the root cause of my food issues. And then I needed someone to show me what would actually work for ME, based on my own history with food.
I invested in myself with my time, my energy, and my dollars. My healing became my first priority.
And it worked.
Now, I never count calories or portion or track my food. My relationship with food is healthy, easy, intuitive, and feels like freedom. I eat whatever I want, whenever I want to (like cake at birthday parties because a life without cake is not a life I want to live), and I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been. No food is off-limits, but it doesn’t need to be, because what I mostly want to eat now are healthy, nourishing foods.
That’s a complete 180 from where I used to be, and it’s just as much of a life-changer as I dreamed it would be. Someone could offer me a million bucks to go back to my old exhausting, restrictive, binge-y, crazy-making way of eating when food had complete power over me, and I would turn it down without thinking twice.
If you’re struggling in any area of your life (relationships, parenting, anxiety, depression, food, etc) PLEASE consider seeing a professional who can help you. You deserve for your one, precious life to be SPECTACULAR… not like you’re living on autopilot with couch snacks being your main source of joy.
If you’d like help from me, I’ve got you. The number one question I get asked is how to work with me one-on-one, and for the last few years, that hasn’t been an option. But you asked, and I listened.
I just opened up a few spots in my calendar for one-on-one clients for the first time in years.
We’ll spend 3 sessions together, just you and me. Once you spill all the details of your own unique food history, I’ll know exactly what’s been missing, and exactly what you need.
Then, I’ll show you exactly how to have the easy, nourishing, intuitive relationship with food that I have, and that I KNOW is possible for you.
This is the only way to work with me one-on-one, and it’s only around for a little while. So if you’ve been thinking this is exactly what you’ve been waiting for, snag it while it’s here!
Hugs and high-fives to being allowed to eat birthday cake whenever you want,
P.S. You asked, and you shall receive. I’ve just opened up one-on-one coaching sessions again for the first time in years. If you’re feeling crazy around food and need private, personalized support, I’ve got you. They’re only here for a limited time so if you know you want in, do it, do it!
If you’re someone who struggles with overeating and emotional eating, and you wish you could just lose the desire to eat more food than your body needs, then daily exercise is KEY.
…But probably not for the reason that you think.
There’s a big focus on exercise in diet culture as being very important for BURNING CALORIES.
You know what they say…
You have to force yourself to go to the gym as “payment” for eating tacos or cupcakes.
You have to punish yourself with running because you drink wine.
You have to do painful, punishing workouts because you dare to eat food.
The memes abound. This gym t-shirt, for example. 👇
The day these memes go away will be one of the happiest days of my life.
First of all, exercising for the purpose of “paying your dues for eating” is a BORING chore. You know what else is a boring chore? Paying bills.
If exercising feels like paying bills, you are almost never going to feel motivated to do it.
Second, exercising for the purpose of burning calories is so frustrating that it makes you want to just give up entirely. Have you ever tried staying on the treadmill long enough to burn off the calories from just ONE cookie? It’s so demoralizing.
Last, research shows that your body naturally becomes more hungry as you increase exercise in order to replace the calories you burn. As you add more exercise into your life, your body thinks “Whoa! I’m expending extra energy! Must replenish calories by causing extra hunger and food cravings!” And that’s exactly what happens. So, exercising for the purpose of just burning calories is counter-productive.
So, then what exactly is the point of exercising? And how can it help overeaters?
➡ Food is the most overused drug for anxiety & depression, and exercise is the most underused.
Exercise is AMAZING at improving your mood, to the point that it’s been shown to be as effective as medication for mild to moderate depression. The vast majority of overeating happens not because you’re physically hungry, but because you are emotionally hungry. Anxiety, stress, and depression can all cause MAD cravings for food. Once you nip the source of the craving in the bud,( i.e. lower your anxiety, stress and boost your mood), cravings diminish BIG TIME.
➡ Exercise is also FANTASTIC for your health. It pumps your body full of oxygen, healing killer-cells that fight off infection, and basically turns your body into a bastion of health. Moving your body daily helps you have lower blood pressure, stronger bones, and muscles, and lubricated (and less painful) joints. I’m sure you’ve heard that “sitting is the new smoking” right? It’s true. Daily movement is key to living a long, healthy life.
➡ IT FEELS GOOD! When you do daily movement as a CELEBRATION of what your body can do instead of thinking of it as punishment, and with the goal of having FUN, everything changes.
Instead of focusing on making sure you get a “good” workout in to punish yourself for eating food, shift your focus to seeing how much FUN you can have in your miracle of a vessel each day.
Wake up and spend 5 minutes doing gentle stretching and appreciate how good it feels to wake yourself up with gentle movement.
Take a 10-minute walk in the sunshine on your lunch break to give your body a break from sitting and breathing in stale air.
Spend 4 minutes dancing with your kids to a song that makes everyone smile.
Think of the kinds of movement you loved to do as a little kid and bring them back into your life.
Play on the playground, buy an adult-sized hula hoop, ride a horse, spin around until you get dizzy and fall into pillows.
Whatever type of movement feels good in your body, IT IS ENOUGH.DO IT!
Instead of thinking of 5 minutes of joyful movement as “not good enough because it’s not a REAL, punishing workout”, remember that research shows that short increments of movement throughout the day are JUST AS BENEFICIAL as doing one long workout.
And joyful movement is MUCH MORE beneficial to you than movement that feels like punishment.
So, how do you start to actually WANT to do daily movement?
👉 Stop thinking of exercise as calories, punishment, or “payment” for what you’ve eaten
👉 Change your definition of exercise and what “good” exercise looks like
👉 Focus on the joy of movement, and use it to celebrate what your body CAN do
👉 Think about what you loved to do as a little kid & bring it back into your life
👉 Shift your movement goals from burning calories and punishing your body… to feeling joyful, strong, limber, and pain-free
👉 Focus on movement that feels good to YOU, not on what kind of movement someone tells you you “should” be doing
👉 ANY movement is better than NO daily movement – commit to moving your body in a joyful way, DAILY. Start with just 2 minutes per day and build up as you crave more.
Today, I challenge you to do just 2 minutes of movement today that you consider FUN, joyful, silly, and “not a real workout”.
As you’re doing it, hear me telling you that this is EXACTLY the kind of movement that TOTALLY COUNTS and have a BLAST!
In the comments, let me know what joyful movement you’re excited to add into your day today!
Hugs and high-fives to the oft-ignored benefits of spinning until you’re dizzy,
P.S.Do you ever wish someone could help you figure out why food whispers your name when you KNOW your body doesn’t actually need it? And that someone could tell you how to make the whispering STOP so that eating healthy would just be… easy?
We’ll dig into exactly how you got to where you are now, and how to transform into the version of you who doesn’t have to worry about food anymore because healthy eating is just… easy. 💪
I’ll show you EXACTLY how to have an easy, nourishing, beautiful relationship with food… in a way that perfectly combines your food history, preferences, secret superpowers, and hectic life. 🤝
You’ll learn how to leave dieting, restricting, calorie-counting, and food tracking in the past, for-evah-evah. ✌️
As we work together and I learn EXACTLY what you need most, I’ll craft your personalized, colorful, food success roadmap that is a no-brainer to follow, fun, and will totes make you swoon. 💯
(Note: This is NOT some friggin’ eat-one-cup-of-blueberries-for-breakfast meal plan. 🙄 This is your personalized, comprehensive roadmap with everything you need to make healthy eating a breeze… so you can focus on lighting up the world like you do.) 😎
In the Devour Life Academy, my clients create a daily gratitude practice as soon as we start working together. It’s a MUST HAVE ritual if you struggle with overeating or emotional eating. For anyone I work with, it’s a Daily Non-Negotiable.
I suggest setting a timer on your phone for 2 minutes, and spending that time either writing down or saying out loud, everything you’re grateful for. As many things as you can think of in the 2 minutes!
To create a daily gratitude practice that WORKS, there are some really specific guidelines you need to follow.
What NOT to do…🛑✋🚫
🚫 1. DON’T say you’re grateful for things you aren’t actually grateful for.
Nix anything that feels like a “should”. You get no benefit from these kinds of gratitude statements because they’re laced with the negative feelings you’re trying to take a break from.
I SHOULD be grateful for my new project that is overwhelming me…
I SHOULD be grateful that my parents are coming into town even though I’m stressed about it…
I SHOULD be grateful for the temper tantrum my kid is having because he’s expressing his feelings even though it’s making me want to crawl in a hole and die.
Leave out the SHOULDS. The gratitude fairy is watching and knows it’s a lie. 🧚♀️
🚫 2. Don’t say you’re grateful for trauma or pain.
I see a lot of memes on social media these days like,
“I’m grateful my ex broke my heart because now I’m stronger.”
“I’m grateful I got so sick because now I appreciate life more.”
“I’m grateful for the abuse I experienced because it made me resilient.”
Even if a statement like this is true for you, DON’T use it in your gratitude practice.
You can be grateful you’re strong and grateful that you’re resilient, and grateful that you appreciate life, yes. But leave trauma out of your gratitude practice, and instead focus on how amazing you are.
🚫 3. Don’t try and use gratitude to “stuff down” or ignore feelings.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and sad, let yourself fully feel that for a couple of minutes, and then take a break from it to do your gratitude practice.
If you allow yourself to FEEL daily negative feelings, they typically pass by in about 90 seconds, like a (painful, icky) cloud.
We tend to be so afraid of what will happen if we allow ourselves to fully feel them. There’s fear that it’s not ok to feel that way (it is), or fear that if we start allowing ourselves to feel it, the feeling will never stop.
But the opposite is actually true. When we allow ourselves to FULLY feel feelings like sadness, loneliness, anger, they pass through us in a healthy way. When we suppress them, we end up expressing them in unhealthy ways… like eating everything in the fridge.
Your gratitude practice is meant to help get you back into a positive mindset after fully feeling your sadness/anxiety/overwhelm.
The RIGHT way! DO THIS! 👍💯🏆
✔️1. Use gratitude as a break, as a perspective shift. You’re not ignoring the bad things in your life. You’re just balancing them out with the good.
✔️2. Use your gratitude practice when you start downward spiraling.
If you allow yourself to feel a feeling like sadness and it goes on, and on, and on, then stop and take a break.
That means there’s depth there that wants to be explored, but not all at once. Take a break with your gratitude practice.
✔️3. Get as detailed as possible.
The more detailed the things are you’re grateful for, the better it works.
“I am grateful for my baby” is ok but…
“I am grateful for the way my baby’s head smelled when she woke up this morning” is WAY BETTER.
“I am grateful for my husband” is ok but…
“I am grateful that my husband brought me a cup of coffee in bed this morning. It made me feel so loved” is WAY BETTER.
“I am grateful for the beauty of nature” is ok but…
“I am grateful for this maple leaf that just fell in front of me because it reminds me of fresh maple syrup I used to have at my grandma’s as a kid” is WAY BETTER.
✔️4. Give yourself the tingles.
Remember what your high school English teacher said and BE DESCRIPTIVE.
Use feeling words and specific examples. Try to feel it in your bones. Try to make something you’re grateful for make you tingle a little.
✔️5. Do it AT LEAST once per day, but several times per day if you want massive results.
Practice in the morning, in the evening, while you’re walking the dog, while you’re falling asleep, etc. There’s no such thing as too much gratitude, and you’ll notice that it starts to really shift your perception of yourself and your life.
It also part of the daily non-negotiable practice that I prescribe for calming food cravings. Big time.
Build the RIGHT gratitude practice for you, make it a daily pleasurable habit, and watch your whole perspective shift and your cravings calm the eff down.
Comment below and tell me… What’s a time in your day where it makes the most sense to add in a 2-minute gratitude practice?
Years ago, I went to India to live on an ashram for a month and study yoga. At that point, I had done a LOT of healing around my overeating and emotional eating. So, I knew that we were going to have to follow a yogic way of eating, but I didn’t think it would be a big deal.
The yogic way of eating is basically vegetables and fruits, with no dairy, nothing processed, and no “stimulants”, and they consider foods like onions and garlic to be “stimulants”. So, to me, it felt like we were mostly just eating boiled vegetables. 😩
Turns out, IT WAS A BIG, TERRIFYING, FRUSTRATING DEAL. To the point that I fantasized about stealing the ashram’s van and high-tailing it into the nearest town to stuff my face with all the foods I missed.
I missed chocolate. I missed snack foods. I missed cheese. I missed meat. I missed that delicious flavor that garlic adds to dishes. I missed dessert. 🍫🧀🍪🍔
Here’s the special trick that suddenly made my food cravings disappear…
We have become so accustomed to using food to bury emotions that we think the emotions don’t even exist. We feel like, “I crave snacks at night because I just love food.” But if that food is taken away from you, stuff comes UP. 😳
Without the food to pacify you, you feel angry, frustrated, deprived, sad, hopeless, etc. It all comes up to the surface and you suddenly feel all the emotions that you had previously been numbing with food. 😩
And that’s why 97% of people can’t stick to a diet. Because it’s not about the food. It’s about what the food is COVERING UP. And what it’s covering up is hard to know how to deal with… which is why we stuff it down with food. 🍕🍫🍔
When my favorite foods were taken away at the ashram, I COULD NOT HANDLE IT. I was angry, frustrated, desperate, anxious, and sad.
When I went to Guruji, the ashram’s elder, to talk to him about what was happening to me, he said two things.
What has the food been covering up for you? When you don’t have it, what comes up?
How do you WANT to be with food?
I thought about it, journaled about it, and tried to come to logical conclusions. It helped some.
But when I focused on it in a very specific way during our early morning meditations, I noticed a HUGE shift. For the rest of the morning after meditating, I didn’t miss my old foods, looked forward to my ashram meals, and fully enjoyed them.
On days I also did this in our afternoon half-awake, half-asleep meditations, it worked EVEN BETTER.
And on days I skipped meditations, I went right back to my old feelings and my old ways. I missed pizza, chocolate, and wine. And I didn’t enjoy the ashram food.
The difference between the two was POWERFUL. So I decided to stick with the half-awake, half-asleep meditations, every single day, no matter what.
And my cravings for food completely disappeared. My desire to escape into town and eat burgers and cake disappeared.
Without constant cravings for snack foods, I was able to fully BE in and enjoy the experience of the gift that was living on the ashram. I was able to fully enjoy the wonderful people, the four hours per day of yoga poses, the silence, the simplicity of bathing from a small bucket of water, and the calm that comes from being totally disconnected from phone and internet access.
All because of a very specific way I practiced my meditation.
When I got home to the states, I thought I had discovered this BRAND NEW thing that no one knew about and I couldn’t wait to break the news!
Turns out… this is widely known outside the western world and has been widely studied. It was the complete opposite of new… it was ANCIENT.
I kept up the practice, and my relationship with food continued to be even more peaceful, healthy, happy, and easy than it was before I went to India. When I include this in my practice of Devouring Life, I almost never want to overeat or emotionally eat. My brain has been reprogrammed to think about food in an entirely different way.
New thoughts –> new actions –> new habits that are now the NORM.
This week, your homework is to get yourself into a half-awake, half-asleep state, and focus on these 2 things for 15 minutes. 🧘♀️
1) What has food been covering up for me? What I can’t have it, what comes up?
2) How do I WANT to feel and be with food?
Let me know in the comments below what comes up for you!
P.S. If you want to do this together with ME, then I would LOVE to lead you through it!
✔️ Grabbing cookies from the office kitchen and promising you won’t grab another next time you walk by 🍪
✔️ Finishing the entire plate of pasta even though you’re full after eating half of it 🍝
✔️ Looking down after hours of bingeing Netflix and wondering where the entire bag of chips went 😳
You can absolutely break old habits and patterns, but you’ve got to pay attention to the research showing what actually works, and what doesn’t.
Otherwise, you’ll just feel like you’re banging your head against a wall. 😫
Here’s what to do if you’re just SO DONE with old food habits you never asked for.
What DOESN’T work…
👎 Downloading a new food tracking app and promising to start Monday. The last one didn’t stop your overeating but this one will DEFINITELY WORK because… well, it just WILL!
👎 Berating yourself about being lazy and having no willpower and vowing to “GET IT TOGETHER” and “REALLY DO IT THIS TIME”
👎 Joining a group doing a diet that’s masquerading as a “lifestyle change”(Keto or Whole 30, anyone?). You’ve never stuck with one long-term before but this time it will LAST!
Yeah. If you’ve tried those, you know they leave you feeling like a failure… again.
What DOES work!
First, let me explain what habits are and where they come from…
→ Habits are made up of actions.
→ Actions are caused by thoughts.
→ Thoughts are STUCK in old patterns because even though they’re not good for you, they feel comfy. They feel like home.
So, to change habits, you’ve gotta get down to the root cause, and get unstuck from the old patterns.
So what do we need to do to GET UNSTUCK from the old patterns, that are causing our thoughts, that are causing our actions, that are creating ingrained habits?
We need to…
Reprogram the mind with new thought patterns…
which leads to new thoughts…
which leads to new actions…
which leads to new habits!
If you just declare that you’re going to change your habits without getting to the root cause of the thoughts that cause them… it’s never gonna work.
In short, you’ve gotta get your MIND RIGHT or you have zero hope of ever changing those deeply ingrained habits.
How to get UNSTUCK…
1.Get to the root cause of the initial thought patterns. (Where did they come from? Why are they there? Are there any ways they’re benefitting you?)
2. Line out EXACTLY what you want your new habits to look like, according to your strengths, not where you feel weak.(So much conflicting information is out there about what to eat, when to eat, and how to eat. It clouds your clarity, and reprogramming your mind requires CLARITY about what’s right for you and what you want most.)
3. Reprogram your mind to see the NEW habits you want as comfy, pleasurable, and like home. (Do this via training the mind and reinforcing the new patterns via repetition, meditation, and reprogramming audios.)
💥BOOM!💥 Your NEW habits, the ones you actually WANT, become your new norm!No diets, food trackers, or calorie counting required!
If you want some help getting your mind right and up-leveling your habits, I’ve got a virtual 30-Day Reprogramming Retreat starting on Oct. 7th where I’ll personally take you through the reprogramming process in 30 days!
You’ll get all the training you need, all the reprogramming audios you need, and I’ll personally help you form your new, ideal-for-you, food habits.
I called it my “evening zombie walk”. I used to get home after a long day, and then walk around the kitchen like a zombie, opening and closing the fridge and the same cabinets over and over… hoping that the next time I opened them, more food would magically appear. 🙄
Then I’d gather all the food I had, (or pop over to the corner store if I didn’t have the particular junk food I was craving – here’s lookin’ at you, 7-11 chocolate eclairs 😙), plop onto the couch, and turn on the TV.
The joy I felt during this moment was visceral. I’d let out a whole body sigh, happy that I finally had ME time. No answering to bosses or kids or co-workers. Just me, doing me.
Then I’d binge-watch shows until it was so late that I was only going to get 4 hours of sleep and then curse myself for staying up so late and curse the world for giving me so little time to myself.
I eventually realized that this way of spending my evenings felt good in the moment, but really was just numbing out.
It wasn’t actually making me feel good.
It was like counterfeit pleasure.
And I craved the real thing.
So, I leveled up my evening ritual in a way that made me feel real pleasure.
Watch the video to see how you can do it, too:
Here’s how I did it!
✔️ I figured out what I was really craving which made the food cravings… disappear
✔️ I ditched the zombie walk and instead started making myself an after-dinner evening cup of herbal tea with gingersnaps.
✔️I made TV a planned weekend splurge instead of a way to check out of my evenings
✔️ I started a nightly reading habit, which didn’t make time pass at an alarming rate like TV did, and also actually relaxed me
✔️ I started playing relaxing music at the end of the day – the kind that made me feel like I was in the lobby of a fancy hotel
✔️ I started lighting candles in the evening to feel calm
✔️ I set a bedtime alarm instead of a morning alarm. When the nighttime alarm went off at 9 pm, it meant it was time to turn off all tech, put on my PJs and climb into bed. I’d read for an hour and then drift off, waking up when I needed to feel rested, and without an alarm.
My new evening ritual felt so amazing that I stopped craving the nighttime snacks, and finally found the elusive 9 hours of sleep per night that I had been craving.
Ready to level up your evening ritual so that you can ditch the food cravings for good?
In the comments, let me know one thing you know you definitely want in your new evening ritual!
In case you haven’t heard, there was a time in my life where I bought an entire wedding cake, and ate it. By myself. While sitting on the couch. And it was not an isolated incident.
I remember in that moment, looking down at a ring of icing and the carcass that was left of the wedding cake that I had just annihilated with a fork, and I thought to myself, “Breanne. This is not your best life. There has to be a better way.”
After that moment, I learned 5 secrets about food that took me from feeling totally out-of-control…
…to feeling like one of those women for whom healthy eating was just effortless.
I NEVER thought it could happen for me, but it did.
In today’s video, I tell you all the ways to get FREE help from me, including a masterclass teaching you the 5 secrets.
If you participated in the challenge and masterclass, great job at investing in yourself!
If you missed the masterclass, watch the replay HERE!
IN THIS FREE MASTERCLASS WE COVER:
The 5 SECRETS nobody is sharing in the “weight loss world” (once you hear them your relationship with food will change forever) 🤫
How to BREAK FREE from the SHAME cycle that causes overeating 🚫🔁🚫
The 3-STEP TRICK to never “fall off the wagon” again ⚠️ ✔️✔️✔️⚠️
The ONLY thing you NEED to focus on to completely LOSE THE DESIRE to OVEREAT 🔑
After you watch it, make sure to hop on a call with me so I can learn more about your story, what’s going on with you, and help you figure out the next best steps.
We are taught that hard work, sacrifice, buckling down, and generally FORCING ourselves is what gets the job done, right?
But let’s dig into that a bit more deeply.
Is hard work required in life? Yes. Do we sometimes have to sacrifice and buckle down? Of course.
BUT… with food and exercise, that has somehow translated into this idea that we need to be MEAN to ourselves in order to be the best version of ourselves.
I mean, think about it…
Do you ever say things like this to yourself?
I’m so lazy!
Why can’t I just have more willpower?
Why can’t I ever follow through?
Why do I always fail?
In your mind, you might think that if at some point, you just feel bad enough or ashamed enough or you hit “rock bottom” with how you feel about yourself, that things will change.You’ll finally have the motivation you need to change.
But shame talk and mean talk and self-bullying do NOT lead to positive change. (If that worked long-term, don’t you think it would have worked already?)
So… what DOES work? Click the video and I’ll tell ya!
Embracing all the goodness in yourself, fully.
What if eating too much sometimes is ok?
If you’re doing it so much that it’s driving you crazy, download my emotional eating emergency manual – but also know that the desire to emotionally eat and overeat is OK. And humans do that sometimes and it’s ok!
What if the pace you naturally do things at is ok?
What if all the things you like, even the ones you’re ashamed of, are ok?
What if the amount of time you need to take breaks is necessary and ok?
What if wanting to run off to an island and sell coconuts sometimes is ok?
What if not being able to stick to a diet is ok? (It’s actually a GOOD THING, I promise.)
What if your body, exactly as it is right now, is exactly how it’s supposed to be?
When you see the inherent beauty in your own perceived imperfections, you are loving yourself the way you deserve to be loved.
And when you love something, you give it grace and forgiveness. You see all the adorable quirks as totally loveable. And when you love something, you want to take immaculate care of it.
So, to take better care of yourself, what I want you to do is go EASIER on yourself, not harder.
Be patient with yourself, be forgiving with yourself, and hold all of your desires like the most precious treasures in the world.
THAT is what leads to the change you’re seeking.
In the comments, I’d love to hear about one perceived “imperfection” about yourself that you see with love.
I want to pop in down in the comments and cheer you on in fully accepting yourself, exactly as you are now.
Raise your hand if the last diet you tried worked so well that you’re still on it and never again had issues with food.🖐
No one? Yeah. I didn’t think so.
Diets have an abysmal 97% failure rate.
Can you imagine going to the doctor and hearing, “Here’s a prescription. It has a 97% failure rate, but maybe you’ll be one of the 3% of people it works for!”
No doctor would EVER prescribe something with a 97% FAILURE RATE!!!
So let’s get into why diets don’t work, and what to do instead.
First, let’s define what a diet is. A diet is any method of food restriction for the purpose of losing weight.
ANYTHING that promotes food restriction is a diet. Cleanses, detoxes, calorie counting, point counting, and “lifestyle changes” where you restrict your food… are all DIETS.
And the fact that you have “failed” at dieting is NOT YOUR FAULT. Why?
❌ Anything with a 97% failure rate is just a bad system. You are not expected, as a human being, to excel at things that have a 97% failure rate. That’s ridiculous.
❌ Diets feel like punishment, and no one wants long-term punishment. Diets feel like food jail, and no one wakes up in the morning excited to go to jail.
❌ Diets feel like restriction, and restriction leads to REBELLING. Think about it… When you were a kid and your mom said, “Whatever you do, DON’T LOOK IN THE TOP DRAWER.” What’s the first thing you’re gonna do? That’s right. Look in the top drawer. When something is restricted, we are wired to REBEL.
❌ Succeeding means the haters win, and you can’t let the haters win.
If you’ve been told by people who love you that you need to eat less and lose weight, then what you HEAR is, “You don’t belong until you eat less. You are not loved unless you eat less. You aren’t worthy unless you eat less.”
So sticking to a diet feels like letting the haters win. Why? Because you know deep inside that you are deserving of love, belonging exactly as you are right now.
You don’t have to change a single thing about your body to be worthy. So quitting a diet is your most inner wise self protecting you from changing yourself to fit other people’s expectations. You probably refer to it as self-sabotage, but it’s actually self-protection.
❌ Restriction ignores the root cause of overeating. You are not expected to succeed at something that treats symptoms without getting to the root cause.
Big life changes, like a loss, a breakup, a divorce, extra work stress, family stress can all cause overeating.
Why? Because we use food as a life raft to survive these things. And that’s a good thing.
You’ve been treading water in the middle of the ocean and you’ve used food as a life raft. What a beautiful coping mechanism you’ve developed to keep yourself afloat.
If someone took your life raft away, you’d feel like you were drowning. And diets try to take your life raft away without replacing it with anything else. That’s just rude.
So what’s the answer?
Trying to force our bodies into a shape or weight not meant for us is pointless, and frustrating.
If I am eating beautifully nourishing foods when I’m hungry, stopping when I’m full, getting plenty of sleep, enjoying moving my body each day, holding strong to my boundaries, fostering connectedness with my loved ones, and just generally taking amazing care of myself, then whatever my body looks like as a result of that IS MY IDEAL BODY.
And I invite you to create a similar definition for your own body.
It’s way more fun (and works so much better than) trying to look like yourself from 15 years ago, a model on a runway, a hungry celebrity, or your sister who won the genetic lottery.
Instead of ripping away your life raft by restricting your food, find something better to keep you afloat so you don’t need that old life raft.
Figure out what your void is, and fill it up with things that feel so much better than food. Doing it this way means that instead of having to use willpower, you just stop wanting to overeat and emotionally eat.
Be so, so gentle with yourself. Instead of judging your food choices, try just getting curious. “Hmmm… I wonder why I needed that? What feeling am I craving” feels and works so much better than “OMG WHY DID I DO THAT WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?!?!?”
Ask your body what she’s craving (A bubble bath? A nap? A massage? Saying nevermind to that party you committed to?) and give that to yourself.
We tend to see weight loss as this holy grail…
When I lose weight, I’ll buy myself such cute clothes!
When I lose weight, I’ll feel sexy and love dating!
When I lose weight, I’ll be so confident!
But the truth is, if you lose weight and are still treating yourself like crap, you’re not going to feel any better at all.
So let’s start with treating yourself better RIGHT NOW. Let’s make THAT the focus, instead of the thing with a 97% failure rate.
COMMENT BELOW and tell me one small action you will do TODAY to show yourself more self LOVE. ❤️