What do you do when you’re doing the best you can to eat well and take care of yourself, but you’ve got someone in your life who’s an energy vampire, a naysayer, depressing, judgey, or just otherwise brings you down?
Whether it’s a family member, coworker, or someone that you are caring for, if you’re feeling drained I’m going to teach you 3 things you’ve GOT TO DO to stop other people from gettin’ you down, sapping your energy and dimming your amazing light…🌟
Define Your Boundaries + Communicate them + Enforce them
We have this idea that people that can say whatever they want to us if they love us or they are trying to be helpful, but this is not actually true!
The only things people are allowed to say to you are the things that you allow them to say. So if you don’t want people commenting on your body or what you are eating, you have every right to tell them so STOP. What would this look like in real life?
DEFINE: “I don’t want people commenting on my food choices or body anymore.”
COMMUNICATE: “Hey Mom, just so you know I am working on this new way of eating and it’s pretty personal to me. I don’t want to talk about it right now and would prefer to talk about other things. OK?”
ENFORCE THEM: If you have set a boundary and then they don’t respect it say “Remember I mentioned that I don’t want to have conversations about that anymore? Are you still on board with that? The next time we are together if you can’t follow through on that I’m going to have to take a break from us spending time together.”
Does it make you feel super cringey to even think about having those conversations? Then that’s a pretty good indication that you’re allowing other people to drain your energy like thirsty little vampires.
Remember, boundaries can often look and feel like pissing other people off sometimes. It takes practice but you got this! Be BRAVE and put YOU first!
Fill Your Energetic Cup (activities that only bring PLEASURE, specific to YOU)
When you wake up you have a certain amount of energy. Then you go about your day and you give and give and you end up draining your cup, right? Because that’s just how life works, right? NO, NO, NO!!!
What I’d like for you to do is to only give to people from your overflow of energy. Because when you allow yourself to get completely drained, you’re WAY more likely to encounter emotional eating and food cravings.
I really want you to pay more attention to how you are filling up our energetic cup AND how you are emptying it.
The things that fill your energetic cup are specific to you. They can be anything that brings you joy, feel happy, makes you feel calm, etc. When you’re doing these things consistently you’ll see your energy start to overflow. And it feels SO GOOD.
It is your responsibility to protect your energetic cup!
Here are some great examples of things you can do to fill your cup. Which ones make you tingle when you think about them?
☀️Taking a break from work to take a 10-minute walk
🎧Escaping from work to your car to listen to a podcast for 15 minutes
📕Curling up in a warm blanket and reading a magazine
🎥Watching a movie (but be careful with screens!)
Protect Your Energetic Cup (only give from your overflow)
Rituals are so important for filling and protecting your energetic cup!
⭐️Creating a sacred space
This a MAJOR focus in the Devour Life Academy Membership, which you can check out ➡️ here
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I’d love to personally help you fill your cup and PROTECT THAT MOFO. At the beginning of every month we even do a “cup-filling calendaring” session to make sure you’re set to feel filled up and in your overflow state for the whole month!
In the comments, let me know your FAVORITE cup-filling activities!
Today I’m answering a question from a member of my Devour Life Facebook Group that I’m certain many of you might be wondering about too!
Ok, I need some help/advice.
For 3 months up to November I was on a double course of antibiotics, which had me munching carbs (mainly corn chips and jelly sweets) like I was out of control. Then of course, there was Christmas and all the carb temptation that comes with that, so I thought ok re-start in the new year, which is what I did, but I feel like a carbaholic/carb addict, that’s out of control!
I re-started back on LCHF (low carb, high fat) and for a week I was doing fine, but never really felt full up, no matter how much fat I ate. Then I had one bad day and I slipped back to a carb, and now I feel like I’m out of control.
I can’t not have those things in my house because my husband eats all the things I shouldn’t when following LC (low carb). Any advice please? I feek so much healthier when on LC, thanks in advance. I’m ￼feeling frustrated.
Don’t worry Angie, I got you!!
I answer Angie’s question in the video below or keep reading to get my take on this.
Here are a few things I want you to keep in mind:
1. Don’t blame yourself! There is nothing wrong with you!
If you are “falling off the wagon”, or not “sticking with your diet”, there is nothing wrong with you It’s not you that failed the diet. It’s the diet that failed you! Diets have a 97% failure rate, which is why I’m suggesting a different approach…
2. It’s a GREAT sign that you love yourself enough that you want to be healthy! 💖
It’s amazing that you have so much self-love that you want to take the steps necessary to feel healthy in your body and knock your doctor’s socks off 🧦🙏🤸♀️!
Now let’s talk about how to get there!
Like I said above, diets have a 97% failure rate. A diet is defined as anything that restricts your food for the purpose of weight loss. Especially if it cuts out an entire food group. Be on the lookout for diets disguised as “lifestyle changes” which is really just a diet masquerading 🎭 to throw you off the scent. Call it what you like, but if you are restricting what you are eating for weight loss, it’s a diet! Let’s try something new, something that is actually sustainable and you can feel like a success!
The question I want you to ask yourself is, and really take a moment and think about it…
What do you want for your life when it comes to food?
Think about what you ultimately want for your life. Do you want a life where you eat only meat and fat?If so, I hope you’re one of the 3% of people that can follow an extremely strict diet without falling off the wagon. I am NOT that person!
Can you imagine a life without bread, or cake at least once in a while? As for me, I don’t want a life without bread 🍞🥖🥐. When I think about what I want for my life I don’t want to only be able to eat one or two food groups, that doesn’t sound like a happy life to me.
If that sounds like you too, then let’s look at some other options beyond just cutting out whole food groups and getting super restrictive.
First of all, a 2019 global study showed that not eating enough whole grains is actually a leading cause of food-related death. What does this mean? All carbs are not the enemy. Whole grains can provide a whole lot of health benefits. What we are looking to get away from is the highly processed carbs that we feel like we can’t control and can even feel like an addiction.
Next, I see it so often that women in my community feel compelled to do a restrictive diet or 30-day program to “kick start” themselves into change with the idea that after that they will shift into the “maintenance phase”.
I have a radical idea for you… why not just start Maintenance now?
The idea of the maintenance phase is that it’s usually more balanced. You eat when you’re hungry, you stop when you’re full. Why do we feel like we need to do something radical first? It’s not like your choices are only eat fat forever OR go completely nuts with highly processed carbs.
If your goal is to not eliminate whole food groups, not eat mostly healthy foods when you’re hungry, easily stop when you’re full, and just eating like a “normal person.”
If that’s your goal, then I want you to do 3 things…
Know the difference between physical and emotional hunger – physical hunger is when you have those tummy rumbles, you haven’t eaten in a while, your body is needing specific nutrients or you’re feeling the blood sugar shifts or change in energy. Emotional hunger is when we think we’re physically hungry but we’re really looking to solve an emotional need like stress, or sadness.
Feed physical hunger with food
Feed emotional hunger with NOT food – this is the hardest part for sure and if it feels scary to you or you’re not sure how, keep reading for some options I’ve got to support you!
When you follow that way of being, you just eat mostly nourishing foods when you’re physically hungry, easily stop when you’re full, you learn to feed your emotional hunger ahead of time so that the emotional cravings disappear. I know that sounds like a miracle, and it is! It’s also super possible 😀.
If you want a starting place, I highly recommend you watch my masterclass on “How Not to Fall off the Wagon”. If you’ve already done that and you need more help, or if you are someone who is like, “I AM FED UP WITH GOING AT THIS ALONE!!!”
Join me for The Devour Life Academy Membership and I’ll give you personalized help and show you how to do everything step-by-step and hold your hand through the whole transition.
Join us for the monthly Devour Life Academy Monthly Membership HERE.
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Get the FREE “How to Not Fall off the Wagon” Masterclass HERE.
At the beginning of a new year, there’s an energy of freshness. Of starting over. Turning over a new leaf. New habits.
New year, new you… right?
But if you don’t actually do something new, you’re not going to get anything new.
You’re just going to get the same results you’ve always gotten. Do something that is completely different from what you’ve always done… and you’ll get results.
Choosing a different diet plan or a different way of restricting your food for weight loss does not count as something new. If it involves restricting your food, it’s a diet. Even if they call it a “lifestyle change”.
“Lifestyle change” is the sneaky new word for “diet”, by the way.
And diets have abysmal failure rates. There’s usually a high when you start one, but then it becomes miserable and unsustainable.
So, if you want to be healthy and live your best life, what should you do instead?
Eat in a way that is mostly healthy, and allows all foods in moderation.
Like a normal healthy person. 🤷♀️
(That’s what I used to call those people who were normal around food. The ones who just ate mostly healthy food when they were hungry, stopped when they were full, and didn’t think about food all the time or want to snack all the time… “normal healthy people.”)
I know it’s not as sexy as a new diet, or a new “lifestyle change” ( 🙄)… BUT IT WORKS. And it’s SUSTAINABLE. Which means it WORKS FOREVER.
So… let’s make 2020 the year that YOU ARE that healthy person!
Create your vision for your dream relationship with food and write it down. What’s it like? (Easy? Delicious? Healthy? Fun? Super easy to stop when you’re full? No desire to emotionally eat?) Shoot for the stars!
Make a promise that you’ll get there by ditching diets and food restriction FOR GOOD. (You’ve tried it. It doesn’t work. It’s time for an approach that’s TRULY NEW.)
Get to the ROOT CAUSE of your desire to overeat, emotionally eat, and mindlessly snack. It’s not about being lazy or not having willpower or food just being “too delicious.” There’s a REAL reason. And it’s deep. Find it, heal it, and your food struggles are OVER.
Want some help getting started? Start by joining my FREE masterclass…
Overeating is… eating past the point of fullness, or eating when you know you’re not hungry. It’s eating more than you know your body wants and needs.
Here’s what to do if you’re overeating every day or every week, and also specifically what to do around the holidays.
Which of these overeating situations describes you MOST?
👉 Going overboard at a meal
👉 Mindless snacking after meals or between meals
👉 Eating dessert when there’s no room
👉 Just feeling hungry all the time
Ok, then what do we do about it? Today’s video tells you exactly what to do.
First, it’s normal for humans to overeat sometimes, and there’s nothing wrong with eating past the point of fullness. Our culture tends to make food and how we eat a very moral issue like it’s wrong or bad or gluttonous to overeat. But it’s none of those things.
Eating is something that can be VERY pleasurable, and like all pleasurable things, too much of it can really make your life suck.
So I want to be clear that overeating is NOT WRONG.
But… I am talking to you if your desire to overeat feels out of control or like it’s hurting your life or your physical or mental health. You deserve to live a life where food is easy, not controlling.
Second, the good news is that the 4 situations above all have the same solution!
Because eating more food than your body needs, in any form, is emotional eating.
Emotional eating is not just crying into a bucket of ice cream or stress-eating.
Emotional eating is when you are eating past the point of physical fullness.
So why can’t you stop eating even if you know you’re physically full?
I have a lot of clients tell me, “it’s just habit.”
If it’s just a habit and doesn’t go any deeper than that, then it’s easy to stop.
If it’s just a habit then you can shift your environment around and easily change it.
I used to have trouble remembering to floss. But I love taking long showers. So I started flossing in the shower. Done.
I used to have a habit of forgetting to take my allergy medicine in the morning. So I set an alarm on my phone and now I take it every morning.
If we assume that it’s just a habit, then I should be able to tell you ways to set up your environment for success and it would stop the overeating. Just “follow this diet” or “follow this meal plan” should work.
But that hasn’t worked. So it’s got to be deeper than a habit.
What’s happening is you’re eating so quickly and mindlessly that you’re skipping over a REALLY important thing going on inside you that’s causing you to overeat in a way that feels uncontrollable.
You are eating because you want to stop feeling something you don’t want to feel, OR you’re eating because you want to feel more of a feeling you DO want to feel.
Always. It’s always this. 1% of the time there may be an underlying medical issue, but 99% of the time, it is a FEELING.
So, what do you do? You follow a really simple 3-step process that gets to the bottom of what’s making it so hard for you to stop.
If you’re overeating more than you’d like, THAT ☝️ is where I want you to start. DO IT!
What to Do During the Holidays…
On special holidays, just plan to allow yourself to overeat. But do it in a healthy way by following these DOs and DON’Ts….
❌ DO NOT allow yourself to feel guilt or shame about what you’re eating. Pay attention and ENJOY!
❌ DO NOT give yourself rules that are impossible to stick to, will make you feel guilty and will spoil the fun of the holiday.
❌ DO NOT try to stick to a diet, count calories, count points, or restrict.
❌ DO NOT plan to start a new diet right after the holiday, or you’ll definitely overeat.
❌ DO NOT eat foods that will make you sick, but otherwise, allow yourself to enjoy all of the special holiday foods.
❌ DO NOT punish yourself the next day or the next week for what you eat.If you listen to your body, you’ll naturally want to eat less without restricting yourself. You’ll also probably naturally want to do more movement because your body always knows what it needs. Listen to your body.
✔️Eat for maximum pleasure!
✔️ Take in the food using your five senses
✔️ Look at the beautiful colors, enjoy the perfectly browned top of the bread, smell all the delicious smells, spend time chewing each bite and putting your fork down.
✔️ Focus on thinking to yourself, “I am allowed to fully enjoy this food.”
✔️ Pay attention to how your body is feeling.
✔️Which foods are your favorites?
✔️How full is your stomach?
✔️How is your body reacting to the foods you’re eating?
✔️Once you’re full, notice. But remind yourself that you are celebrating a special holiday with special foods and that you’re allowed to take full pleasure in enjoying them.
If you want to eat a bit more, go for it. Just make sure you’re choosing it CONSCIOUSLY in an empowered way, instead of feeling like it’s controlling you.
Let me know in the comments which food you’re MOST excited to enjoy this holiday season, and make a pledge to FULLY allowing and enjoying it by finishing this sentence!
“This holiday season I will allow myself to FULLY enjoy _______ and I will eat it mindfully with ultimate pleasure!”
Hugs and High Fives to FULLY enjoying your pumpkin pie,
I was driving home from a friend’s party the other night (btw the cake was so good and you guys know how I feel about cake) and mindlessly listening to the radio when Time by NF came on, and I heard this line…
Got a lot of issues I’m tryna work through ’em
Going to therapy for you’s somethin’ that’s worth doing
And I was suddenly screaming, “YAS. THIS!” alone in my car, because I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I’ve ever heard a song normalize therapy.
Growing up, no one in my family went to therapy. And the idea of it was shunned as “airing your dirty laundry.” It was considered shameful, and so no one went.
Even if there was depression, unprocessed trauma, or severe anxiety, therapy was not something we did. The idea was that if you were strong, you should be able to get through it.
I’d watch family members put their health at serious risk because they could not stop eating in a way that was hurting them. Their doctors would clearly tell them what was and was not ok to eat, but nothing could stop them. It broke my heart.
And since that’s what I saw growing up, I struggled with it, too, until I found… therapy.
The ONLY reason I have a beautiful relationship with food now, one where I eat when I’m hungry and easily stop when I’m full and have pretty much zero desire to overeat, binge, or emotionally eat, is because I got help.
I worked with therapists, counselors, and coaches who taught me the skills I needed to eat the way I wanted to eat. I thought I had been born with a faulty food gene, but it turns out I just needed some support and guidance to get to the root cause of my food issues. And then I needed someone to show me what would actually work for ME, based on my own history with food.
I invested in myself with my time, my energy, and my dollars. My healing became my first priority.
And it worked.
Now, I never count calories or portion or track my food. My relationship with food is healthy, easy, intuitive, and feels like freedom. I eat whatever I want, whenever I want to (like cake at birthday parties because a life without cake is not a life I want to live), and I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been. No food is off-limits, but it doesn’t need to be, because what I mostly want to eat now are healthy, nourishing foods.
That’s a complete 180 from where I used to be, and it’s just as much of a life-changer as I dreamed it would be. Someone could offer me a million bucks to go back to my old exhausting, restrictive, binge-y, crazy-making way of eating when food had complete power over me, and I would turn it down without thinking twice.
If you’re struggling in any area of your life (relationships, parenting, anxiety, depression, food, etc) PLEASE consider seeing a professional who can help you. You deserve for your one, precious life to be SPECTACULAR… not like you’re living on autopilot with couch snacks being your main source of joy.
If you’d like help from me, I’ve got you. The number one question I get asked is how to work with me one-on-one, and for the last few years, that hasn’t been an option. But you asked, and I listened.
I just opened up a few spots in my calendar for one-on-one clients for the first time in years.
We’ll spend 3 sessions together, just you and me. Once you spill all the details of your own unique food history, I’ll know exactly what’s been missing, and exactly what you need.
Then, I’ll show you exactly how to have the easy, nourishing, intuitive relationship with food that I have, and that I KNOW is possible for you.
This is the only way to work with me one-on-one, and it’s only around for a little while. So if you’ve been thinking this is exactly what you’ve been waiting for, snag it while it’s here!
Hugs and high-fives to being allowed to eat birthday cake whenever you want,
P.S. You asked, and you shall receive. I’ve just opened up one-on-one coaching sessions again for the first time in years. If you’re feeling crazy around food and need private, personalized support, I’ve got you. They’re only here for a limited time so if you know you want in, do it, do it!
If you’re someone who struggles with overeating and emotional eating, and you wish you could just lose the desire to eat more food than your body needs, then daily exercise is KEY.
…But probably not for the reason that you think.
There’s a big focus on exercise in diet culture as being very important for BURNING CALORIES.
You know what they say…
You have to force yourself to go to the gym as “payment” for eating tacos or cupcakes.
You have to punish yourself with running because you drink wine.
You have to do painful, punishing workouts because you dare to eat food.
The memes abound. This gym t-shirt, for example. 👇
The day these memes go away will be one of the happiest days of my life.
First of all, exercising for the purpose of “paying your dues for eating” is a BORING chore. You know what else is a boring chore? Paying bills.
If exercising feels like paying bills, you are almost never going to feel motivated to do it.
Second, exercising for the purpose of burning calories is so frustrating that it makes you want to just give up entirely. Have you ever tried staying on the treadmill long enough to burn off the calories from just ONE cookie? It’s so demoralizing.
Last, research shows that your body naturally becomes more hungry as you increase exercise in order to replace the calories you burn. As you add more exercise into your life, your body thinks “Whoa! I’m expending extra energy! Must replenish calories by causing extra hunger and food cravings!” And that’s exactly what happens. So, exercising for the purpose of just burning calories is counter-productive.
So, then what exactly is the point of exercising? And how can it help overeaters?
➡ Food is the most overused drug for anxiety & depression, and exercise is the most underused.
Exercise is AMAZING at improving your mood, to the point that it’s been shown to be as effective as medication for mild to moderate depression. The vast majority of overeating happens not because you’re physically hungry, but because you are emotionally hungry. Anxiety, stress, and depression can all cause MAD cravings for food. Once you nip the source of the craving in the bud,( i.e. lower your anxiety, stress and boost your mood), cravings diminish BIG TIME.
➡ Exercise is also FANTASTIC for your health. It pumps your body full of oxygen, healing killer-cells that fight off infection, and basically turns your body into a bastion of health. Moving your body daily helps you have lower blood pressure, stronger bones, and muscles, and lubricated (and less painful) joints. I’m sure you’ve heard that “sitting is the new smoking” right? It’s true. Daily movement is key to living a long, healthy life.
➡ IT FEELS GOOD! When you do daily movement as a CELEBRATION of what your body can do instead of thinking of it as punishment, and with the goal of having FUN, everything changes.
Instead of focusing on making sure you get a “good” workout in to punish yourself for eating food, shift your focus to seeing how much FUN you can have in your miracle of a vessel each day.
Wake up and spend 5 minutes doing gentle stretching and appreciate how good it feels to wake yourself up with gentle movement.
Take a 10-minute walk in the sunshine on your lunch break to give your body a break from sitting and breathing in stale air.
Spend 4 minutes dancing with your kids to a song that makes everyone smile.
Think of the kinds of movement you loved to do as a little kid and bring them back into your life.
Play on the playground, buy an adult-sized hula hoop, ride a horse, spin around until you get dizzy and fall into pillows.
Whatever type of movement feels good in your body, IT IS ENOUGH.DO IT!
Instead of thinking of 5 minutes of joyful movement as “not good enough because it’s not a REAL, punishing workout”, remember that research shows that short increments of movement throughout the day are JUST AS BENEFICIAL as doing one long workout.
And joyful movement is MUCH MORE beneficial to you than movement that feels like punishment.
So, how do you start to actually WANT to do daily movement?
👉 Stop thinking of exercise as calories, punishment, or “payment” for what you’ve eaten
👉 Change your definition of exercise and what “good” exercise looks like
👉 Focus on the joy of movement, and use it to celebrate what your body CAN do
👉 Think about what you loved to do as a little kid & bring it back into your life
👉 Shift your movement goals from burning calories and punishing your body… to feeling joyful, strong, limber, and pain-free
👉 Focus on movement that feels good to YOU, not on what kind of movement someone tells you you “should” be doing
👉 ANY movement is better than NO daily movement – commit to moving your body in a joyful way, DAILY. Start with just 2 minutes per day and build up as you crave more.
Today, I challenge you to do just 2 minutes of movement today that you consider FUN, joyful, silly, and “not a real workout”.
As you’re doing it, hear me telling you that this is EXACTLY the kind of movement that TOTALLY COUNTS and have a BLAST!
In the comments, let me know what joyful movement you’re excited to add into your day today!
Hugs and high-fives to the oft-ignored benefits of spinning until you’re dizzy,
P.S.Do you ever wish someone could help you figure out why food whispers your name when you KNOW your body doesn’t actually need it? And that someone could tell you how to make the whispering STOP so that eating healthy would just be… easy?
We’ll dig into exactly how you got to where you are now, and how to transform into the version of you who doesn’t have to worry about food anymore because healthy eating is just… easy. 💪
I’ll show you EXACTLY how to have an easy, nourishing, beautiful relationship with food… in a way that perfectly combines your food history, preferences, secret superpowers, and hectic life. 🤝
You’ll learn how to leave dieting, restricting, calorie-counting, and food tracking in the past, for-evah-evah. ✌️
As we work together and I learn EXACTLY what you need most, I’ll craft your personalized, colorful, food success roadmap that is a no-brainer to follow, fun, and will totes make you swoon. 💯
(Note: This is NOT some friggin’ eat-one-cup-of-blueberries-for-breakfast meal plan. 🙄 This is your personalized, comprehensive roadmap with everything you need to make healthy eating a breeze… so you can focus on lighting up the world like you do.) 😎
In the Devour Life Academy, my clients create a daily gratitude practice as soon as we start working together. It’s a MUST HAVE ritual if you struggle with overeating or emotional eating. For anyone I work with, it’s a Daily Non-Negotiable.
I suggest setting a timer on your phone for 2 minutes, and spending that time either writing down or saying out loud, everything you’re grateful for. As many things as you can think of in the 2 minutes!
To create a daily gratitude practice that WORKS, there are some really specific guidelines you need to follow.
What NOT to do…🛑✋🚫
🚫 1. DON’T say you’re grateful for things you aren’t actually grateful for.
Nix anything that feels like a “should”. You get no benefit from these kinds of gratitude statements because they’re laced with the negative feelings you’re trying to take a break from.
I SHOULD be grateful for my new project that is overwhelming me…
I SHOULD be grateful that my parents are coming into town even though I’m stressed about it…
I SHOULD be grateful for the temper tantrum my kid is having because he’s expressing his feelings even though it’s making me want to crawl in a hole and die.
Leave out the SHOULDS. The gratitude fairy is watching and knows it’s a lie. 🧚♀️
🚫 2. Don’t say you’re grateful for trauma or pain.
I see a lot of memes on social media these days like,
“I’m grateful my ex broke my heart because now I’m stronger.”
“I’m grateful I got so sick because now I appreciate life more.”
“I’m grateful for the abuse I experienced because it made me resilient.”
Even if a statement like this is true for you, DON’T use it in your gratitude practice.
You can be grateful you’re strong and grateful that you’re resilient, and grateful that you appreciate life, yes. But leave trauma out of your gratitude practice, and instead focus on how amazing you are.
🚫 3. Don’t try and use gratitude to “stuff down” or ignore feelings.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and sad, let yourself fully feel that for a couple of minutes, and then take a break from it to do your gratitude practice.
If you allow yourself to FEEL daily negative feelings, they typically pass by in about 90 seconds, like a (painful, icky) cloud.
We tend to be so afraid of what will happen if we allow ourselves to fully feel them. There’s fear that it’s not ok to feel that way (it is), or fear that if we start allowing ourselves to feel it, the feeling will never stop.
But the opposite is actually true. When we allow ourselves to FULLY feel feelings like sadness, loneliness, anger, they pass through us in a healthy way. When we suppress them, we end up expressing them in unhealthy ways… like eating everything in the fridge.
Your gratitude practice is meant to help get you back into a positive mindset after fully feeling your sadness/anxiety/overwhelm.
The RIGHT way! DO THIS! 👍💯🏆
✔️1. Use gratitude as a break, as a perspective shift. You’re not ignoring the bad things in your life. You’re just balancing them out with the good.
✔️2. Use your gratitude practice when you start downward spiraling.
If you allow yourself to feel a feeling like sadness and it goes on, and on, and on, then stop and take a break.
That means there’s depth there that wants to be explored, but not all at once. Take a break with your gratitude practice.
✔️3. Get as detailed as possible.
The more detailed the things are you’re grateful for, the better it works.
“I am grateful for my baby” is ok but…
“I am grateful for the way my baby’s head smelled when she woke up this morning” is WAY BETTER.
“I am grateful for my husband” is ok but…
“I am grateful that my husband brought me a cup of coffee in bed this morning. It made me feel so loved” is WAY BETTER.
“I am grateful for the beauty of nature” is ok but…
“I am grateful for this maple leaf that just fell in front of me because it reminds me of fresh maple syrup I used to have at my grandma’s as a kid” is WAY BETTER.
✔️4. Give yourself the tingles.
Remember what your high school English teacher said and BE DESCRIPTIVE.
Use feeling words and specific examples. Try to feel it in your bones. Try to make something you’re grateful for make you tingle a little.
✔️5. Do it AT LEAST once per day, but several times per day if you want massive results.
Practice in the morning, in the evening, while you’re walking the dog, while you’re falling asleep, etc. There’s no such thing as too much gratitude, and you’ll notice that it starts to really shift your perception of yourself and your life.
It also part of the daily non-negotiable practice that I prescribe for calming food cravings. Big time.
Build the RIGHT gratitude practice for you, make it a daily pleasurable habit, and watch your whole perspective shift and your cravings calm the eff down.
Comment below and tell me… What’s a time in your day where it makes the most sense to add in a 2-minute gratitude practice?
Years ago, I went to India to live on an ashram for a month and study yoga. At that point, I had done a LOT of healing around my overeating and emotional eating. So, I knew that we were going to have to follow a yogic way of eating, but I didn’t think it would be a big deal.
The yogic way of eating is basically vegetables and fruits, with no dairy, nothing processed, and no “stimulants”, and they consider foods like onions and garlic to be “stimulants”. So, to me, it felt like we were mostly just eating boiled vegetables. 😩
Turns out, IT WAS A BIG, TERRIFYING, FRUSTRATING DEAL. To the point that I fantasized about stealing the ashram’s van and high-tailing it into the nearest town to stuff my face with all the foods I missed.
I missed chocolate. I missed snack foods. I missed cheese. I missed meat. I missed that delicious flavor that garlic adds to dishes. I missed dessert. 🍫🧀🍪🍔
Here’s the special trick that suddenly made my food cravings disappear…
We have become so accustomed to using food to bury emotions that we think the emotions don’t even exist. We feel like, “I crave snacks at night because I just love food.” But if that food is taken away from you, stuff comes UP. 😳
Without the food to pacify you, you feel angry, frustrated, deprived, sad, hopeless, etc. It all comes up to the surface and you suddenly feel all the emotions that you had previously been numbing with food. 😩
And that’s why 97% of people can’t stick to a diet. Because it’s not about the food. It’s about what the food is COVERING UP. And what it’s covering up is hard to know how to deal with… which is why we stuff it down with food. 🍕🍫🍔
When my favorite foods were taken away at the ashram, I COULD NOT HANDLE IT. I was angry, frustrated, desperate, anxious, and sad.
When I went to Guruji, the ashram’s elder, to talk to him about what was happening to me, he said two things.
What has the food been covering up for you? When you don’t have it, what comes up?
How do you WANT to be with food?
I thought about it, journaled about it, and tried to come to logical conclusions. It helped some.
But when I focused on it in a very specific way during our early morning meditations, I noticed a HUGE shift. For the rest of the morning after meditating, I didn’t miss my old foods, looked forward to my ashram meals, and fully enjoyed them.
On days I also did this in our afternoon half-awake, half-asleep meditations, it worked EVEN BETTER.
And on days I skipped meditations, I went right back to my old feelings and my old ways. I missed pizza, chocolate, and wine. And I didn’t enjoy the ashram food.
The difference between the two was POWERFUL. So I decided to stick with the half-awake, half-asleep meditations, every single day, no matter what.
And my cravings for food completely disappeared. My desire to escape into town and eat burgers and cake disappeared.
Without constant cravings for snack foods, I was able to fully BE in and enjoy the experience of the gift that was living on the ashram. I was able to fully enjoy the wonderful people, the four hours per day of yoga poses, the silence, the simplicity of bathing from a small bucket of water, and the calm that comes from being totally disconnected from phone and internet access.
All because of a very specific way I practiced my meditation.
When I got home to the states, I thought I had discovered this BRAND NEW thing that no one knew about and I couldn’t wait to break the news!
Turns out… this is widely known outside the western world and has been widely studied. It was the complete opposite of new… it was ANCIENT.
I kept up the practice, and my relationship with food continued to be even more peaceful, healthy, happy, and easy than it was before I went to India. When I include this in my practice of Devouring Life, I almost never want to overeat or emotionally eat. My brain has been reprogrammed to think about food in an entirely different way.
New thoughts –> new actions –> new habits that are now the NORM.
This week, your homework is to get yourself into a half-awake, half-asleep state, and focus on these 2 things for 15 minutes. 🧘♀️
1) What has food been covering up for me? What I can’t have it, what comes up?
2) How do I WANT to feel and be with food?
Let me know in the comments below what comes up for you!
P.S. If you want to do this together with ME, then I would LOVE to lead you through it!
✔️ Grabbing cookies from the office kitchen and promising you won’t grab another next time you walk by 🍪
✔️ Finishing the entire plate of pasta even though you’re full after eating half of it 🍝
✔️ Looking down after hours of bingeing Netflix and wondering where the entire bag of chips went 😳
You can absolutely break old habits and patterns, but you’ve got to pay attention to the research showing what actually works, and what doesn’t.
Otherwise, you’ll just feel like you’re banging your head against a wall. 😫
Here’s what to do if you’re just SO DONE with old food habits you never asked for.
What DOESN’T work…
👎 Downloading a new food tracking app and promising to start Monday. The last one didn’t stop your overeating but this one will DEFINITELY WORK because… well, it just WILL!
👎 Berating yourself about being lazy and having no willpower and vowing to “GET IT TOGETHER” and “REALLY DO IT THIS TIME”
👎 Joining a group doing a diet that’s masquerading as a “lifestyle change”(Keto or Whole 30, anyone?). You’ve never stuck with one long-term before but this time it will LAST!
Yeah. If you’ve tried those, you know they leave you feeling like a failure… again.
What DOES work!
First, let me explain what habits are and where they come from…
→ Habits are made up of actions.
→ Actions are caused by thoughts.
→ Thoughts are STUCK in old patterns because even though they’re not good for you, they feel comfy. They feel like home.
So, to change habits, you’ve gotta get down to the root cause, and get unstuck from the old patterns.
So what do we need to do to GET UNSTUCK from the old patterns, that are causing our thoughts, that are causing our actions, that are creating ingrained habits?
We need to…
Reprogram the mind with new thought patterns…
which leads to new thoughts…
which leads to new actions…
which leads to new habits!
If you just declare that you’re going to change your habits without getting to the root cause of the thoughts that cause them… it’s never gonna work.
In short, you’ve gotta get your MIND RIGHT or you have zero hope of ever changing those deeply ingrained habits.
How to get UNSTUCK…
1.Get to the root cause of the initial thought patterns. (Where did they come from? Why are they there? Are there any ways they’re benefitting you?)
2. Line out EXACTLY what you want your new habits to look like, according to your strengths, not where you feel weak.(So much conflicting information is out there about what to eat, when to eat, and how to eat. It clouds your clarity, and reprogramming your mind requires CLARITY about what’s right for you and what you want most.)
3. Reprogram your mind to see the NEW habits you want as comfy, pleasurable, and like home. (Do this via training the mind and reinforcing the new patterns via repetition, meditation, and reprogramming audios.)
💥BOOM!💥 Your NEW habits, the ones you actually WANT, become your new norm!No diets, food trackers, or calorie counting required!
If you want some help getting your mind right and up-leveling your habits, I’ve got a virtual 30-Day Reprogramming Retreat starting on Oct. 7th where I’ll personally take you through the reprogramming process in 30 days!
You’ll get all the training you need, all the reprogramming audios you need, and I’ll personally help you form your new, ideal-for-you, food habits.
I called it my “evening zombie walk”. I used to get home after a long day, and then walk around the kitchen like a zombie, opening and closing the fridge and the same cabinets over and over… hoping that the next time I opened them, more food would magically appear. 🙄
Then I’d gather all the food I had, (or pop over to the corner store if I didn’t have the particular junk food I was craving – here’s lookin’ at you, 7-11 chocolate eclairs 😙), plop onto the couch, and turn on the TV.
The joy I felt during this moment was visceral. I’d let out a whole body sigh, happy that I finally had ME time. No answering to bosses or kids or co-workers. Just me, doing me.
Then I’d binge-watch shows until it was so late that I was only going to get 4 hours of sleep and then curse myself for staying up so late and curse the world for giving me so little time to myself.
I eventually realized that this way of spending my evenings felt good in the moment, but really was just numbing out.
It wasn’t actually making me feel good.
It was like counterfeit pleasure.
And I craved the real thing.
So, I leveled up my evening ritual in a way that made me feel real pleasure.
Watch the video to see how you can do it, too:
Here’s how I did it!
✔️ I figured out what I was really craving which made the food cravings… disappear
✔️ I ditched the zombie walk and instead started making myself an after-dinner evening cup of herbal tea with gingersnaps.
✔️I made TV a planned weekend splurge instead of a way to check out of my evenings
✔️ I started a nightly reading habit, which didn’t make time pass at an alarming rate like TV did, and also actually relaxed me
✔️ I started playing relaxing music at the end of the day – the kind that made me feel like I was in the lobby of a fancy hotel
✔️ I started lighting candles in the evening to feel calm
✔️ I set a bedtime alarm instead of a morning alarm. When the nighttime alarm went off at 9 pm, it meant it was time to turn off all tech, put on my PJs and climb into bed. I’d read for an hour and then drift off, waking up when I needed to feel rested, and without an alarm.
My new evening ritual felt so amazing that I stopped craving the nighttime snacks, and finally found the elusive 9 hours of sleep per night that I had been craving.
Ready to level up your evening ritual so that you can ditch the food cravings for good?
In the comments, let me know one thing you know you definitely want in your new evening ritual!