We all know that feeling. You look down at a plate of crumbs, wonder where all the food went, and feel that familiar old feeling of deep shame.
WHY did I eat all of that? I’ve REALLY got to get this food thing UNDER CONTROL.
Or that passive aggressive comment from your mother-in-law about how you’ve “gotten fluffy.” 🙄
All you were trying to do was enjoy a meal with the family, and now you just feel miserable.
Here’s what I want you to do next time you feel that sense of shame.
First, let’s talk about shame from others.
These are those passive aggressive or even just plain aggressive comments about your body or about what you’re eating from the people in your life.
When that happens…
- Take up for yourself, and ask others to take up for you as well. You do not deserve to be shamed by anyone about your body or food choices, EVER. It is never ok.
- Remember that you are grown adult and you are allowed to eat whatever you want, whenever you want to. The choices you make about your own body are NO ONE’S business.
- Know that there is NOTHING WRONG with the amount of space your body takes up in the world. You are a perfectly imperfect being, exactly as you are, and if someone doesn’t like something about your body, that’s their issue. Not yours.
- Express that you’d prefer they not talk about your body or food choices, and make it clear that this is a hard boundary for you. If someone loves you, they will respect your boundaries and wishes. YOU decide how others show you love. If a comment doesn’t FEEL like love to you, then it isn’t; even if they’re telling you it is.
- Shout from the mountaintops (I’ll be right there with you!) that you can’t tell how healthy someone is by their body size. One more time for the cheap seats…You 👏🏼can’t 👏🏼tell 👏🏼how 👏🏼healthy 👏🏼someone 👏🏼is 👏🏼just 👏🏼by 👏🏼their 👏🏼body 👏🏼size.
- If someone is concern-trolling about how worried they are about your “health”, just remember that your body and you health are no one’s business. Is it ok to tell someone that you’re very close to that you’re concerned about their well-being? Sure. But there are gentle ways to do that, and there’s a time and a place. There’s a very different energy when someone who truly cares about you asks how you’re doing, versus when someone is criticizing you. Your intuition knows the difference. If it feels icky, it is.
Next, let’s talk about feeling shame in yourself.
This is when, even if no one around you is criticizing you, you feel a sense of shame in yourself.
When that happens…
- Ask yourself… Am I perhaps just internalizing the expectations of others? Of my family? Of society?
- If it’s just you and yourself, then there may be disharmony between who you are inside, and the person you’re being day to day.
- If that’s the case, there is no need to feel shame. It’s perfectly normal, it’s ok, and you haven’t done anything wrong! Getting a bit out of alignment is normal. Be gentle with yourself.
- Focus on who you are at your core, and think about what it would look like for your day-to-day behavior to align better with who you know you are at your core.
- HOLD THAT VISION of you you are at your deepest center. At your core. Smile about it. Daydream about it. Get excited about it. Use that vision as your daily meditation & visualization.
Following these steps will pull you out of a shame spiral, and into a place where you can create positive change if you’re craving it.
If part of your shame spirals involve uncontrollable emotional eating or overeating, then make sure you’ve downloaded my emergency manual!
Now, let’s put the focus back on the positive. Comment below and tell me ONE AMAZING QUALITY of who you are at your CORE, and ONE THING YOU’RE GOING TO DO today to be in alignment with you truly are. 🌟
Huge and High Fives to Hushing the Haters,
P.S. Every wonder WHY you overeat and emotionally eat? Like… what’s at the root of it? Take my quiz and find out! <<< TAKE THE QUIZ! >>>