Raise your hand if the last diet you tried worked so well that you’re still on it and never again had issues with food.🖐
No one? Yeah. I didn’t think so.
Diets have an abysmal 97% failure rate.
Can you imagine going to the doctor and hearing, “Here’s a prescription. It has a 97% failure rate, but maybe you’ll be one of the 3% of people it works for!”
No doctor would EVER prescribe something with a 97% FAILURE RATE!!!
So let’s get into why diets don’t work, and what to do instead.
First, let’s define what a diet is. A diet is any method of food restriction for the purpose of losing weight.
ANYTHING that promotes food restriction is a diet. Cleanses, detoxes, calorie counting, point counting, and “lifestyle changes” where you restrict your food… are all DIETS.
And the fact that you have “failed” at dieting is NOT YOUR FAULT. Why?
❌ Anything with a 97% failure rate is just a bad system. You are not expected, as a human being, to excel at things that have a 97% failure rate. That’s ridiculous.
❌ Diets feel like punishment, and no one wants long-term punishment. Diets feel like food jail, and no one wakes up in the morning excited to go to jail.
❌ Diets feel like restriction, and restriction leads to REBELLING. Think about it… When you were a kid and your mom said, “Whatever you do, DON’T LOOK IN THE TOP DRAWER.” What’s the first thing you’re gonna do? That’s right. Look in the top drawer. When something is restricted, we are wired to REBEL.
❌ Succeeding means the haters win, and you can’t let the haters win.
If you’ve been told by people who love you that you need to eat less and lose weight, then what you HEAR is, “You don’t belong until you eat less. You are not loved unless you eat less. You aren’t worthy unless you eat less.”
So sticking to a diet feels like letting the haters win. Why? Because you know deep inside that you are deserving of love, belonging exactly as you are right now.
You don’t have to change a single thing about your body to be worthy. So quitting a diet is your most inner wise self protecting you from changing yourself to fit other people’s expectations. You probably refer to it as self-sabotage, but it’s actually self-protection.
How awesome is that??? You’re not sabotaging yourself. You’re just super good at protecting yourself.
❌ Restriction ignores the root cause of overeating. You are not expected to succeed at something that treats symptoms without getting to the root cause.
Big life changes, like a loss, a breakup, a divorce, extra work stress, family stress can all cause overeating.
Why? Because we use food as a life raft to survive these things. And that’s a good thing.
You’ve been treading water in the middle of the ocean and you’ve used food as a life raft. What a beautiful coping mechanism you’ve developed to keep yourself afloat.
If someone took your life raft away, you’d feel like you were drowning. And diets try to take your life raft away without replacing it with anything else. That’s just rude.
So what’s the answer?
Trying to force our bodies into a shape or weight not meant for us is pointless, and frustrating.
If I am eating beautifully nourishing foods when I’m hungry, stopping when I’m full, getting plenty of sleep, enjoying moving my body each day, holding strong to my boundaries, fostering connectedness with my loved ones, and just generally taking amazing care of myself, then whatever my body looks like as a result of that IS MY IDEAL BODY.
And I invite you to create a similar definition for your own body.
It’s way more fun (and works so much better than) trying to look like yourself from 15 years ago, a model on a runway, a hungry celebrity, or your sister who won the genetic lottery.
Instead of ripping away your life raft by restricting your food, find something better to keep you afloat so you don’t need that old life raft.
Figure out what your void is, and fill it up with things that feel so much better than food. Doing it this way means that instead of having to use willpower, you just stop wanting to overeat and emotionally eat.
Be so, so gentle with yourself. Instead of judging your food choices, try just getting curious. “Hmmm… I wonder why I needed that? What feeling am I craving” feels and works so much better than “OMG WHY DID I DO THAT WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?!?!?”
Ask your body what she’s craving (A bubble bath? A nap? A massage? Saying nevermind to that party you committed to?) and give that to yourself.
We tend to see weight loss as this holy grail…
When I lose weight, I’ll buy myself such cute clothes!
When I lose weight, I’ll feel sexy and love dating!
When I lose weight, I’ll be so confident!
But the truth is, if you lose weight and are still treating yourself like crap, you’re not going to feel any better at all.
So let’s start with treating yourself better RIGHT NOW. Let’s make THAT the focus, instead of the thing with a 97% failure rate.
COMMENT BELOW and tell me one small action you will do TODAY to show yourself more self LOVE. ❤️
Hugs and High Fives to a 100% SUCCESS rate,